tldr: How do you reach a gamer with almost no communication skills?
I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I love this boy a lot but still every week i am sad atleast ones. The start of our relationship was a dream coming true. I spoke of him so highly and I never thought about it ending. Now two years later and it is a frequent thought. However I sometimes find myself sabotaging the relationship in my head to make it worse than it is because of past experiences with my exes (who both cheated on me, where one even manipulated and used me). The last months have been really hard on me. I am exhausted because of work and all i want to receive is love, communication and hugs. Believe me when I say, I never asked this guy for much, just the basic. Maybe a flower here and there or a lovely card. His love showing decreased intensly after awhile in the relationship and it never recoverd. I have asked him many times what the problem could be and there is always a problem (school, work, family), but he can never pin point why he distanced himself from me. All that goes through my head is that he is cheating, but im also really trying to stop that thought. Most of his time he spends gaming. Even a few days back he gamed for the whole day and in my experience fully forgot that i was also there. I spoke many times already about the fact that i need daily communication and love, and the firsts few days after saying it it goes well and then it just dissapears again. Yesterday i became ill (for the day) and I mentioned it to him, he didnt even react, and after that we haven’t spoken.. It is more than 24 hours later.
I truely still see the good in him, and further more he is a great guy. That is why I haven’t left him yet. I just want to know how you can reach a ‘fulltime’ gamer, because i am sure he is locked to digital screen. Or maybe I am just to boring for him.
So how do you reach a gamer with almost no communication skills (towards his girlfriend, because boi can he talk with his male friends) about your needs? I still really want this to work, but i am also getting tired.
3 comments
He *does* have communication skills because at one point you said you were getting what you needed from him. However, if you aren’t getting that anymore and you’ve tried a few times to communicate that to him, you two may not be meant to be.
It’s pretty bad when a significant other doesn’t even react when you say you’re sick.
And sure some people aren’t the talk everyday type. But you do still need quality time with them regularly. If you aren’t even getting that, that’s a problem. So how often do you spend “quality time” with him?
(quality time = time spent focussed on each other with minimal outside distractions)
Accept reality instead of telling yourself what a great guy he is and how much you love him while he’s staring at his game and ignoring you.
He’s not going to change anytime soon . Gaming is addictive, it’s designed to be that way. Keep looking, there are Lots of young men out there , hopefully a few not addicted to gaming or porn