What is better: crippling loneliness for years and years, or a dysfunctional relationship? Discuss.

8 comments

1. Crippling loneliness. And this was my opinion even before I ever had a girlfriend or sex

2. Neither. We need therapy in both senses. Also if we’re pondering this false dilemma.

3. Crippling loneliness. I can always leave an abusive relationship. I can’t leave crippling loneliness no matter how I try.

4. You’ll need to describe both these choices.

   “Crippling loneliness for years and years” is a hopeless style of describing being alone. Many people enjoy being alone and follow good practices — reading good books, doing their best work, watching a list of movies/TV, working on improving their living conditions, travel and so on. At the same time, there are people who can stay in their mental thought loops and spiral downward and need intervention from another person. This latter kind might get some help from a dysfunctional partner, provided there is some love/care for you. It can also come from a therapist.

   Coming to dysfunctional relationships, what kind of dysfunctional? The goofy/annoying kind or abusive kind? I would always recommend getting and staying away from abuse quickly. With loneliness there’s more autonomy — seeing a therapist or joining a class.

5. Loneliness. Because if you actively try to do stuff you like and hang out with friends, you can turn it from crippling to quite enjoyable. But a bad relationship is always a bad relationship.

6. I was much lonelier in my dysfunctional relationship than I am now single. I disagree with the premise.

7. loneliness because that cost cheaper

8. That’s the thing. You don’t have to be lonely and you don’t have to stay in a dysfunctional relationship. There’s a lot of people out there waiting for their turn to have a relationship. Other times it’s much better to stay alone for some time to work on yourself and mature as a person.