Hello Reddit,

This is my second attempt to post. I got auto flagged so I changed some stuff up.

I (40f) was married to my high school sweetheart, been with him since we were Juniors in HS and we just got divorced. He was my first and only sexual partner. We were together just over 20 years.

A few weeks ago, a friend of a friend introduced me to a guy, a younger and very attractive guy. She suggested I get with him just to get some sexual experience since I only had one partner.

Well, we go out, we go back to his place, and I tell him I don’t really know what I’m doing. He takes the lead and we get straight to sex. He’s wearing a condom. He told me he was getting close and was going to cum.

I said something like “yeah baby cum” and he pulled out, ripped the condom off, and stuck it near my face. I didn’t really know what to do so I leaned in and started sucking and he immediately came in my mouth. This was my first experience ever with cum in my mouth because I thought it was gross so I never let my husband do it.

The short and surprising version is that I absolutely loved it. I braced for the impact thinking I was going to throw up or something, but what happened was that I just kept sucking. He had to pull away. I guess it sparked something in me because I’ve now just given blowjobs to 3 more guys in the last few weeks, but I haven’t had sex again.

So I’m wondering, do most casual sex encounters just rip off the condom and cum in your mouth? I am making an assumption that all guys want to. Luckily I liked it but I’d imagine many don’t. Is this something you have conversations about before engaging in sex with a new person? I’m not really sure how “hookup talk” is supposed to happen.

Thanks everyone, I don’t have many single friends I can talk to, and I’m new to all of this.

​

Editing this to say guys please don’t message me. That’s weird.

41 comments

  2. I’d say most guys don’t do that unless they know they can. For instance when I met my wife years ago I told her I was about to finish and she just went harder. She has always swallowed me during blowjobs and even during sexy time on occasion if I ask for it. I guess she likes me to finish in her. Luckily I had a vasectomy after our second kids so now we never have to worry about that.
    Glad you found you liked it, for a lot of people it could’ve gone the other way.

  3. While it shouldn’t be I think a lot of guys assume the default is yes they can cum in your mouth unless you say otherwise. My experience with casual sex is they never ask and I have to tell them I don’t want them to cum in my mouth if I do blow them. Otherwise they just do it. And to reiterate I said a lot not *all*.

  4. > do most casual sex encounters just rip off the condom and cum in your mouth?

    Absolutely not. A responsible sexual partner, even if for the first time, should get consent before spilling bodily fluids onto/into someone. I mean, that’s just polite!

    The fact that you liked it doesn’t change the fact that he did it without consent.

  5. I might say something like ” where do you want me to cum?” First. He was being pretty presumptuous.

  8. Personally I prefer it when a guy asks where he can cum, I still think consent matters with that. But if you enjoyed it you can always say before you get down to business what you prefer

  9. I usually tell my hookups where they can cum…he definitely should’ve communicated with you better. On the flip side of that, I let my guy know mid coitus where he could cum when he’s ready. That way, there are no surprises.

  10. There are a number of STD/stis that can be transmitted orally by unprotected oral sex so if you are going to do this especially with multiple men and unprotected you will need to get tested regularly. I know hpv, hsv1, hsv2 and gonorrhea are all common ones that can get transmitted this way but that’s not an exhaustive list.

    You will be safer if you get in a relationship with a person that wants to see you exclusively and then you both get tested beforehand.

    Basically, you are engaging in sexual practices that could potentially make you sick if you get a sexually transmitted disease and if you don’t have good boundaries such as, ‘i only have sex with a condom including oral sex’ then in sure most men would like to finish the way you described (no condom cumming in your mouth).

    I hate to be a kill joy but I also feel like you may not be aware of the risks just because you don’t have a lot of sexual experience.

  11. Thank you for your submission to /r/sex. Your post was removed because it appears to be a post seeking a partner for explicit chat or hooking up. These posts are not allowed. If your post was not actually a “personals” post, then feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fsex) and ask that your post be restored.

    *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*

  12. I’m sure your husband would be thrilled to know it was a new cock that opened this world up for you.

  13. The way I would spit that shit on him. No. That is ick. It’s one thing if you want it or know it’s happening…. My husband would easily be my ex husband if he ever did that tbh

  14. You can and should have recent proof they are STI free before you are swallowing cum or precum. You can get all STIs that way

  16. He got very lucky, because he definitely crossed a line

    Putting his sexual fluids in your mouth exposed you to risks you didn’t consent to. If he had an STD, condoms protect against many but not if you get cum in your mouth.

    So while it’s good that you discovered something you liked, he really should have asked first because he made a choice about your sexual health without you.

  18. It’s great that you liked it, but let’s imagine you didn’t. It was immature and selfish of that guy, if he’s really into that kind of stuff he should have asked you about “final” options.
    At the same time you mentioned before you thought it was gross and basically if he didn’t do it without asking, you might never realize you love it. It worked out this time, but probably it’s a good idea to set some boundaries and red lines if a guy seems to want to get straight to it.
    Happy for you though, your discovery about something you thought you didn’t like. It always feels wonderful to uncover some new sexual liking;)

  19. >He’s wearing a condom. He told me he was getting close and was going to cum.

    >I said something like “yeah baby cum” and he pulled out, ripped the condom off, and stuck it near my face. I didn’t really know what to do so I leaned in and started sucking

    So it sounds like he didn’t put it in your mouth. He warned you he was coming and put it close to you and then you leaned in and started sucking.

    It sounds like you discovered something new you love; that’s wonderful! If you change your mind in the future just make sure to let them know you’re no longer comfortable with them coming there and give them a few options.

    >So I’m wondering, do most casual sex encounters just rip off the condom and cum in your mouth?

    Many would like to. From your earlier description he warned you and then put it near your face, and then you leaned in and put your mouth on him and finished him off.

    If you change your mind about it (you can at any time) just give them ideas on where you would like them to come instead.

    Always consider asking a new partner who has not been tested yet to wear a condom as there are some STIs that are difficult to get rid of if you put your mouth on an infected partner.

  20. No, they don’t.

    And you can get every single STD in your mouth that you can get in your vagina. So I’d be pissed if a hookup came in my mouth without clearing it first.

  22. In a casual encounter, I’d always ask where the person wanted it. That’s not just something someone should do without consent

  23. All depends on woman. Some hate cum so love it. Personally. When a woman keeps sucking after I cum. I sometimes bust a 2nd. Give it a go. He’ll never forget you.

  24. I would certainly ask before I did something like that, unless I was with a partner I knew and had done it before/I knew she liked it, because your right some girls (an guys I suppose) don’t like cum and some especially not in the mouth. I would tell him it was rude and in future should ask before he does something like that, there’s no problem between you two it seems but you might save someone else a rather unpleasant experience.

  25. Good job you liked it. I think it’s wild he just did that without asking the first time you slept together. I’d have spat it back at him

  31. There are too many comments here lacking outrage. He tricked you. You consented to sex with a condom and took it off without discussion to cum in your mouth. Its not normal and its not okay, whether you were into it or not you should not view this encounter as alright

  32. I would have never assumed that was ok to do. I would probably have just cum inside with the condom on. But, that is so hot that you liked it and like giving BJs.

  33. Welcome to a culture of youngish guys who try to imitate porn. Expect it to happen often. Good that you like it at least.

    If you want them to do it on your next hook up, no shame in telling them “I want you to cum in my mouth” right before they cum. I don’t think it’s fitting in conversation prior unless you two have been in some dirty banter over text about what you want to do to each other, etc.

    If my wife didn’t let me do it at least a couple times over the course of the marriage we probably wouldn’t last long.

  34. well from a guys view point,, lets say we will cum where ever you want us,, except to get your preggo, I love receiving and giving oral, I will take every drop of her wetness in my mouth,, yum,,, there are alot of women who don’t like cum,, I get that but there is a great feeling when you see her eyes and she is sucking on your hardness to bring you joy… that’s the key,,,

  36. Man I feel bad for your husband

    To answer the question though no it is not normal. It is 100% something you should discuss before doing it.

  38. I’ve only done that twice, and I did it because the ladies requested it. I don’t assume that most women want it in the face or mouth after sex.

  39. He went 90 you went 10. Thats consent in a nutshell. He pointed it at you and said “im gonna cum” you then put it in your mouth and sucked it.

    This is fine. Yiu had choices. You couod have put yiur hand up, or said no loudly.

    Glad you enjoyed it though

  40. I usually ask before we even have sex, and then let her know I’m about to cum.. they end up swallowing or taking facials the entire time haha, even if they said they don’t like it before. I suppose their mood changes when you’re in that mode

  41. >I never let my husband do it

    >I absolutely loved it

    So, you never left your husband who asked you for 20 years and you did it to this stranger on the first date, Idk I have seen here on reddit many stories of men whose wife never wanted to do something specific with them over the years and after they divorced their now ex-wife they do it with others, it didn’t happen to me but maybe that’s why I don’t feel very comfortable with this case, because history is repeating itself again for another poor man.

    And answering your question, of course not, in hook ups and in any relationship there must be communication, you must say and ask what you and the other person do and don’t like, there must be responsibility on both sides .

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like