I (m21) broke up with my girlfriend (f21) because of her mental health and the stress from lack of time in our relationship. She wants a second change, how to proceed?

Hi Reddit,

I (21m) just broke up with my girlfriend (21f) and it has been taking a heavy toll on the both of us.

She is a registered nurse, working night shifts and I am finishing up my final 2 semesters of college. We both love each other very much, but there have been issues that existed before our relationship.

I consider myself pretty outgoing and extroverted, I do still value my alone time but I have an amazing group of friends and we all push one another. She is much more of a homebody, comfortable just hanging with me and the cat, and because of her mental health, often gets anxiety when hanging in groups or meeting new people.

She takes antidepressants and antianxiety medication, and I have been trying to support her mental health but I am not a therapist, nor should I try to be. She does not have any friends she hangs out with aside from her mom and I, and I have been pushing her to meet new people through hobbies and work but her brain works against her. It is hard to be the only person there for her and I want to see her succeed and have the loving friends she deserves.

Most recently, I have been extremely busy with work and have not been able to give her the time our relationship needs. She anxiously avoids the problems and I have created a document doing some mental health research of local therapists and resources, but she is not taking any initiative with it. We had a conversation about it and she does want to seek help but hasn’t done so and it has been getting worse with him.

I broke up with her 2 days ago because I explained her mental health is taking a toll on me, I am too busy with school to give her the love she deserves (and will be studying abroad for 3 months which will make things so much harder), and that we both need space and she needs to focus on loving herself before we can love one another.

As you all know, it is so fucking hard. I don’t want to feel like I am giving up on her, or I don’t love her enough to try, but it is so hard to draw the line. After the fact of the breakup, she told me she will change, she said she has talked with a therapist and will try to give me more space and respect one another’s boundaries more, but is it too late? Is it now just after the fact?

I do love her, but it is just so hard to be together right now. It is unfair and selfish, but I think it is best for both of us. She asks if we will be together in the future, but I told her right now what we are doing isn’t sustainable. We have been trying, but she wants to try more. I would love to see her change and be with her in the future, but I do not want her to hold out on that, and I do not want her to help herself in hopes of just getting back together with me.

Thank you for listening, I tried to be clear and concise. I would love to hear input, answer questions, or hear of similar situations you all have been in.

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tl;dr: broke up with my girlfriend because of the stress from her mental health and the lack of time we have for one another currently. She wants to give it a second chance and now work on herslef along with our relationship. How do I proceed?