What do you think of ghosting?

29 comments

  1. I think ghosting is cowardly. If you’re not interested in someone, just be honest and tell them. Don’t lead them on and then disappear.

  3. I feel it can have its uses. For example, if someone is being an asshole/abusive, I think full-on ghosting(if you can successfully do it) is probably the safest way to handle that situation. However, if it’s simply a matter of you don’t feel you’re vibing, don’t catch an interest in them, etc that isn’t appropriate to do as I feel people should be given closure. If you’ve told them you don’t feel it’s working out, you’d like to move on and then they keep harassing you, then yeah, ghosting has a good use again. So it’s more complicated than “you should never ghost” or “it’s always valid”, at least in my opinion. There is nuance to it

  4. I prefer people cutting contact with me by ghosting, even if we’ve formerly been close and/or known each other for a long time. I can take a hint, and I just don’t have any wish or need at all to know why someone no longer wants to stay in touch.

  5. As a breakup method, it’s generally awful. I guess it would be justified in extreme circumstances.

    As for friends, I think certain relationships have very toxic dynamics that are hard to pinpoint and sometimes it’s not feasible to explain why you want space or no contact, either because the “weaker” party (the one who feels damaged by the interaction and wants it over) just doesn’t have the strength to do that, or because the “stronger” party would not accept the explanation and the confrontation would be too stressful for the “weak” party. So all in all, I think sometimes it’s necessary but unacceptable if it’s a lazy cop out or a repeated pattern.

  7. Communication is preferable

    Some people use it to avoid confrontation and while I understand, I think that’s fairly dismissive of the other human being who is left not knowing what’s going on. I don’t think anyone is owed the “why”, but doubt sucks

    Some people use it because they fear for their safety if they communicate and I completely understand that. Safety comes first

  8. Assuming this is a virtual dating-based question I think it’s crappy if you’ve just “lost interest,” but in cases where the person is being aggressive or abusive, or disrespectful, I think it’s fine. Anytime I’ve “ghosted” has been after repeated attempts to communicate a boundary they weren’t respecting so, blocked, deleted etc. In real life I can’t really see a valid reason to ghost unless there was some form of abuse involved.

  10. If we’re speaking of dating, I think this is a disgusting and disrespectful thing to do. I think communication is always best, and saying “sorry, this isn’t working out for me” isn’t that much of a hard thing to do. It happened to me three times, and when it happened, I felt like crap. I questioned myself when instead I should’ve told myself that these people were not worth my time and it was a good thing they went away. If you’re not capable of communicating properly, then move out of my way.

    But then, of course, when the person you’re talking to is aggressive or toxic, ghosting can be a good way (or even the best way) to get rid of that person.

  11. Ghosting for surface level interactions for people you barely know and give bad vibes I think are fine.

    But the better you know the person, the more cowardly the act becomes. Never break up with your S.O this way. They always deserve a reason for ending the relationship, even if it’s petty or hard. Learning how to have tact and grace with communication is a hard skill to learn, but ultimately the more mature thing to do.

  14. It’s only ok when you’re fearing for your safety. Otherwise it’s one of the most disrespectful and cruel things you can do to a person.

  15. After trying online dating, I think ghosting is totally acceptable. The first few people I discovered I wasn’t interested in after matching, I just explained I wasn’t really feeling it and wouldn’t like to continue speaking with them. Except for one really kind, respectful guy, this led to hundreds of unanswered messages, guilt tripping and finally a whole heap of abusive crap about me “not giving them a go”. One person actually went to the extent of finding out where I live through mutual friends and turning up at my house uninvited to try and convince me I wanted to date him. Ghosting will be a thing for as long as people can’t take no for an answer.

  16. As long as you’re not ghosting a long term relationship over something that could’ve been very easily fixed, then I don’t give a fuck. People have the right to cut ties without having to explain themselves. Anyone who thinks it’s “abusive” or makes that person inherently bad is just over sensitive, has a sense of entitlement, and is unable to handle rejection.

  20. I keep in mind that everybody is operating within their own capacity. Might have nothing to do with me – people are just busy. When I don’t reply to people it’s not really about them. I just have a limited amount of energy and I’m careful about how I use it.

  22. Only a punk would “ghost” a lady. If you’re a real man, act like it and face her. Tell her she’s lousy in the sack, can’t cook worth a damn, drives like a 99 year old, can’t two-step her way around a playing card or whatever the problem is.

  23. I’m curious what you guys think: how do you feel about ghosting a partner/ S.O. who’s been cheating? I feel like I’ve read a handful of reddit posts that end that way, and it honestly felt justified to me.

  24. Sometimes necessary to keep being safe but if you can, being upfront and saying it isn’t working is nicest.

  25. Recently ghosted a guy who just texted creepy stuff. Very glad 👻 ing exist.

    I wouldn’t ghost anybody I didn’t meet just once. People you know deserve an explanation.

  28. Basic conversations/less than a month (especially on social media) fine. More than that, especially if the conversations were otherwise fine and there is no glaring red flag but things are just blah, I’ll heads up before noping out.

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