TLDR: I’m in a fwb situation with my friend and I’m not sure how to ask him to be more/see how he feels about me.
Hi everyone. On mobile here.
I’ve (21f) been friends with this guy (20m) for over a year now. We’re also teammates. We just recently started hooking up, basically every weekend since halloween. I really like him and I like what we have going on right now, but I also feel really confused. For one, he had gotten out of a relationship about two months before we started hooking up. It was a long one and since we had been friends for awhile, I knew that their relationship was toxic and very intense. So I’m not sure if I’m just a rebound and a convenient person for sex at the moment or if he sees me as more?
I don’t know. I’m just confused about what I want and I have no idea what he wants. I also don’t want to ask him because I don’t want to wreck what we have right now. At first I liked the fwb thing but I caught feelings (I know – big mistake). I thought it would be fine because we had been friends before and this whole fwb thing caught me by surprise. But he’s really sweet and fun and I really like being around him. It’s just that things are kind of weird now, especially at practice. It feels like he avoids me now and doesn’t talk to me as much. But on the other hand we talk a lot more through Snapchat. So I don’t know. I miss our friendship dynamic but I don’t know where to go from here.
Help?
1 comment
>So I’m not sure if I’m just a rebound and a convenient person for sex at the moment or if he sees me as more?
Your suspicions could be correct, but you’re really just speculating. The easiest way to find out is just to ask him.
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>I also don’t want to ask him because I don’t want to wreck what we have right now.
Well, let’s say you ask him “hey, I think I want us to be exclusive. How do you feel about making this relationship official?” And he says “no.” That would suck, because being rejected sucks, but it’s better than being with someone who doesn’t really want to be with you, isn’t it?
Look, it’s clear you don’t want to just be a FWB with this guy. You want a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with that. There are only two ways it’s going to become official, though:
1. He asks you to make it official.
2. You ask him to make it official.
There’s really no other way.
Don’t stick around in this FWB situation if it’s not making you happy. Either ask him to make it official, or leave. It’ll hurt if he rejects you, but that’s much better than staying in a situation where you’re unhappy.