I’m seeing a guy and we’ve been talking now for 2 week. We saw each other twice. The first date was great. We keep telling ourselves we want to go with the flow. Seemingly, I feel like we both are interested in one another and want to see where it goes. On the 2nd night, we told eachother that we were ready to be exclusive and focus on getting to know eachother.. but then we got probably too close. I told him I feel like this was too fast and I regretted it cause I would’ve wanted to wait. He tells me that i’m worried for nothing and that it was gonna happen regardless no matter how long it took and it was not gonna make him any less interested. All of this happened yesterday. We are communicating today but not a lot. He sent me a few snaps of the cottage he is with his friends, I don’t wanna bother him so I’m not texting. He was the one to text first today. For some reason, i’m still doubting what happened so much. I’m really scared that he’s gonna be less interested cause he does mention often that he wants to go with the flow, meaning this relationship is gonna be at a slow pace. IM WORRIED LOL. Am I worried for nothing though? Thank you ❤️
15 comments
You’re worried for nothing. He’s texting a bit less because he’s busy & he knows you clearly like him so he doesn’t have to keep the pressure up on you.
I’m not gonna lie to you, men tend to lose interest quite a lot after sex so early on, because many of them may want just that. Fingers crossed this won’t be your case.
I would be very doubtful too, ngl. Like why being exclusive so damn quickly? Do you really know him? no. Also the “go with the flow” is a huge red flag. I feel like he’s trying to manipulate you into thinking that your pace seems natural, yet he seemenly coherced you into having sex. Idk man, I feel like he’s testing the waters with you and you’re letting him.
Be cautious, that’s all.
Oh child, calm your heart. Worry not, because what is supposed to happen will happen. The only thing you have control over is your own actions. Whether he likes you, gets bored, finds another, whatever, it’s nothing you can control. No matter how much energy you pour into getting him to like you. It either will make little difference in the end. If you two are meant to be together, things will align, when something gets in the way, god will remove it. On the other side if it’s not meant to be. Then you will face obstacle after obstacle. So, be yourself, let him see who you are, let him know you want more time, let him know that you want all his time. Then let him tell you what he wants from you. Regardless of what happens I hope your very happy i life and get all that you deserve.
If you initiated, its a different story. If he didn’t pressure you “because it would’ve happened anyways”, then he doesn’t seem shady
You’ll just have to wait and find out but if he only wants to initiate hookups from here onwards, then he’s not into you for a relationship and obv wants to use you.
I mean you initiated it and thats like something most guys never get so Im sure he was excited and probably interpreted it as you taking the lead which men never get.
Girlfriend and I had sex on like the 2nd date. Together for 11 months now.
If it works, it works. But your worry is going to throw him off. Was it good? Good. Could it use some work? Take time to make it work. Sex is a piece of the pie but not the whole pie. Breathe.
If he loses interest, ouch, move on and keep your hopes up. Id take more time to get to know someone with or without sex.
Truth be told: girls who say guys lose interest after sex were interested in sex not you. So keep being you and if he wants you he wants you.
Before my girlfriend now, I had sex too soon, I waited too long, yadda yadda. It’s all good. The people you are most compatible with are going to click with you pretty quickly. Just don’t put that anxiety or worry on a new relationship. There’ll be enough strain later on. Let the good times roll, and if it ends just use this as a lesson as to what you want for a standard or who you want.
Head up Virgo! You’re too special as a human to be down over problems that aren’t even there yet. Text him good night and tell him you miss him! Then let the convo flow. Most guys try to preoccupy themselves with stuff to not come across as simps. So if he seems like he’s trying to be busy it might be because he’s crushing hard too.
Also I wanna say: if this is how some of y’all talk to your friends after a date I think you might be a bit negative in your outlook or jaded. Not every guy is out to play you, we just don’t know how to do modern dating. Just as girls aren’t out to dig every cent out of a guys pocket. Be optimistic and cheer people on for their relationships. Of course be on guard for them but don’t fill ppls heads with so much doubt all the time. It’s not good for you or them.
I’m actually less worried about sex on the second night, and I’m more worried about it’s a lack of control.
The rules of not having sex too early I feel are rules of thumb but I have met valuable partners with long term potential who have had sex, or at the least given me oral, in the second night. Atleast one of which I distinctly remembered saying she would have done it the first night if I had pushed for it.
Girl believe me, you’re worried for nothing. My last bf and me had sex on the second date too and everything went smooth into a relationship a couple of weeks later. Don’t stress yourself out, he’s just with friends, it’s normal he doesn’t text that much rn. It’s a good sign he still texts and sends snaps even though he’s with friends. Try to calm down, it wouldn’t be good if he notices your anxiety
Sex doesn’t change a man’s feelings. It only reveals them. If he’s still into you after, that’s a great sign.
“I don’t wanna bother him so I’m not texting. He was the one to text first today.”
You might want to text him first the next time, so he knows (you) are still interested.
You’re feeling like you don’t want to bother him may be interpreted as something else.
No one wants to feel like they are the only one keeping the lines of communication open.
Honestly, I just went through this with a guy. Had sex on the second date and he told me he wanted to be in a relationship with me, told me I could move in etc. My situations is different because I was visiting his country, looking to move there. He gassed me up, sold me a dream… about a week later backed out on everything he said. I returned home and we kept talking, he didn’t lose interest but… I realized I didn’t know him. Take time to get to know him. Don’t let him rush things… you should tell him to slow down. Get to know him and make sure he’s not love bombing. Let him court you.
I had sex on the second date with my boyfriend. We’re going on 3 years and live together now. If it feels right, it’s inevitable anyway. Good to get that out of the way. I mean… you don’t want to seriously commit to someone and realize that you’re incompatible in bed. It’s part of a solid relationship.
You don’t know who he really is at this point and same of you for him. If it doesn’t work out, trust that it was for a very good reason.
Still go live your life, go have fun. If it is meant to be, then it will.