I’ll keep it short and to the point since it’s a lot to handle. 2 weeks ago my (22M) girlfriend (20F) of 1 year moved away for college. A few days later she calls me and says that her feelings for me have faded and that she doesn’t feel the way she used to, and that she wants to break up. This came to me as a surprise, as I hadn’t really felt that there is something wrong with our relationship. I got sad but I didn’t have any choice, so 2 days after she broke up with me, I went to her place to pick up my things. When I met her she told me that we regretted her choice and that she had been feeling horrible these days after we broke up, and that she missed me etc.
I decided to give her a chance since she had just moved away as I said, and maybe she felt overwhelmed.
Fast forward to today, we were hanging around and I grabbed her phone to find something in our text conversation, when I say she had sent messages to her ex, about wanting to meet him and stuff. I checked the date and it was the day after she told me all this bullshit about not feeling the same. When I confronted her about it she started crying saying she didn’t do anything wrong and she didn’t cheat on me, since we had broken up.
I just want to turn to reddit for advice since I’m tired of her bullshit. Yes she technically didn’t cheat as we had broken up, but to me this all seems that she wanted to fuck her ex and found the excuse to do it (or made the excuse up herself even, by creating this situation). Even if this wasn’t planned, I told her, she showed me that she didn’t seen to even care about me, or the relationship we had since, there is no way after breaking up with someone you care about, you are already over it a day after.
Thoughts?
34 comments
Nah. She cheated IMO. She broke it off with you to fuck other people. She never told you the truth also.
Would you break up with her, fuck a girl and then not tell her and get back together two days later?
She lied to you about the reason for the breakup and lied to you when she didn’t tell you about sleeping with her EX. Maybe next time she wont even break up with you to bang other dudes.
There are millions of women out there who would never do this. Find one of them.
Turns out grass wasn’t greener and she regretted her decision. Technically yeah she didn’t cheat, but it’s still up to you if you want to continue this relationship. I wouldn’t.
I wouldn’t forgive that shit. You can’t just dump a guy, go nuts on your ex no less, and then take him back once your party is over. Thats just trying to poorly find a cheating loophole. Just because it wasn’t “technically” cheating doesn’t mean its not a spectacularly valid reason to end this.
Either way She got over you disrespectfully fast in order to make that leap. And then hid it from you.
I’d pass on the whole situation.
The technicalities don’t matter. Break up with her again if this is a deal breaker. You don’t have to date her.
Oh, tell her not to worry, she’s not a cheater, but she is a traitor.
I wouldn’t talk to her ever again, she’s bad news, and justifies herself trying to get rid of her guilt.
She broke it off to have sex with another guy and then decided she wanted you back. Sorry but no, don’t allow yourself to be treated like that.
She broke it off to sleep with her ex and when things didn’t work out with him, she came to you as her back up option. And when she got caught she started gaslighting that it wasn’t technically cheating as you guys were already broken up. Dump her rn.
She broke up with you to fuck him, then got back together with you so that she could say it wasn’t cheating. You can do better than her
Don’t do this to yourself. Why does it matter that they hadn’t hooked up yet? She’s already proven to you she’s a liar and a cheat.
If you want to be productive, try to figure out why you think so little of yourself. There’s a person out there for you who wouldn’t do any of this stuff. Find her.
Not cheating on a technicality? She broke up with you to have some guilt-free sex with someone who is not you, then begged for you to take her back. What she did is cheating in all but name. Who’s to say she won’t do this again now that she knows there are no consequences for her? She fooled you once op, that’s on her. When she fools you a second time, that will be on you for putting yourself in that position.
Duck no dude.
She gotta go forever!
OP, please do not listen to the defenders. They are always here, defending women no matter what they do.
She broke up with you to be with this ex guy, she did it so she wouldn’t feel guilty.
it turned out that either it wasn’t very good, it was same old same old, or she realized that you were better.
Regardless of why, she lied to you and imo cheated on you. She is away at college, she is going to do this again the next time she finds an attractive guy, or she just won’t tell you and keep her phone clean.
Just move on. You are 22.
Dude….just no.
She dumped you to fuck a guy and then convinced you to take her back. More concerningly, her “feelings for you faded” once her ex was in fucking range and then magically reappeared once she was done having her fun.
I’m not sure why this is even a question, of course you break up with her. Or you can expect her feelings to “fade” again the next time a guy she wants to bang wanders past you two.
Lol nah don’t even give her the time of day. She wanted to fuck the ex while y’all were together it just so happen when y’all broke up it didn’t turn out like she fought it would and now tried to come back to you. Lol never be someone’s backup plan
Don’t stay with someone who relies on technicalities to do what they want.
She broke up with you, fucked her ex, didn’t work out, came back. Didn’t cheat but shady AF. Next time, she finds someone “better”, she may not come back.
That would make me sick to my stomach. She made her bed now let her lay in it. Ghost that bitch
>I’m tired of her bullshit
This is all you need to say. Don’t waste any more time with her, it’s not worth it.
Have some self-respect and tell her to kick rocks. This should be the only acceptable answer.
So she broke up with you for a day, to have sex with her ex, and the day after when he was done with her, she goes back to you….
I’d leave her.
Take your degree and enjoy your future with someone who won’t flip flop on you
Run!
You’ve gotta realize this isn’t a concidence. She wanted to screw her ex, but didn’t want to jeopardize your relationship. So she figured this would be a loophole.
Whether she did it to manipulate you into staying or to convince herself that she didn’t cheat, she did. Do yourself a favor and make the break up official and block. There’s no excuse to justify or explain this away
She wanted to try her ex’s dick guilt-free to see if it was good as she remembered. It wasn’t, so she went back to you.
If it was premeditated, then she cheated. If it wasn’t, then she technically didn’t cheat, but her faithfulness is suspect. Ultimately, if this is something you can’t get past, then it’s time to leave.
She broke up with you to be with her ex…. found out it wasn’t worth it and cried to come back.
Thats manipulative and untrustworthy behavior
I was ready to be on your ass thinking you had ended it but she literally dumped you so she could fuck around and then got right back with you like nothing happened. She thought she found herself a loophole so she could cheat and still feel good about herself. Fuck that. If you forgive her now I bet you anything she tries it again in the future. Dump her and find better
Welp, that was her chance. Block her and move on.
she break up with you to fuck her ex…leave bro
Yeah she broke up with you to do one thing , there was no fight no reason for it
She did the breaking up , she doesn’t get the emotional rebound excuse , that’s something you would get.
This is clear manipulation to Fu*k an ex
If you decide to put up with this I would get to be friends with that ex because it seems like he will become a constant feature in your girlfriends life.
No that’s cheating. She broke up so she could have the loophole. Dump her ass.
She cheated. End of.
Leave.
*face palm*
She used you and played you like a fool. Leave her, she’ll likely do it again because now she thinks she has you wrapped around her finger. In her mind, she can leave and fuck someone else and you’ll be waiting for her when she’s done. And the best part? She doesn’t have to feel guilty for it because you were broken up.
Sorry. Do you really want to be anyone’s sloppy seconds? And is she worth the extra drama?