I will be joking if i tell you I didn’t find my bf the hottest cutest prettiest nicest and the best person ever. Let me tell you this past year I don’t see all that the same anymore idk why like i swear I look at his old pictures and he looks so perfect and even on video calls but when we are there in real life I don’t feel that way? I don’t wanna leave him bro like he meant something special and that feeling I’ve never felt for anyone but now I just think his face is too small and like I don’t see him the same cuz of the face being small like why does it matter to me sm why is he not the same attractive anymore like idk it’s like i feel he’s a different person have I just lost feelings?
Because I don’t find it fun around him or anything too like it was perfect he’s perfect why is this happening I don’t see myself feeling all that for anyone rn I don’t feel anything but those times were the best in my life what do I do? And my therapist says everyone has flaws and i have rocd but still what is going on I think he deserves better
TL;DR – i don’t understand if I’m losing feelings or it’s my OCD flaring up
3 comments
Youre 18, rather than focusing on love, focus on do you enjoy spending time with them
How long have you two been together, what relationship maintenance do you do, and have you had any issues or problems in the relationship?
Not everybody is fated to stay in your life forever. It is normal for relationships to change or fade away over time, be they friendships or romantic attractions. That doesn’t make them any less important – you still had fun together and probably lead to each other’s growth, at least a little. But if it’s not the same anymore, and it no longer feels good, that’s okay! You don’t need anyone’s permission to distance yourself. It doesn’t make you bad or selfish. You don’t have to tamp down your feelings because you’re scared of what people will think if you share them. And isn’t it worse to stay in a relationship where you’re no longer happy? Letting it rot and die a slow death instead of giving it a merciful end before it causes you both to suffer? You don’t owe anybody your time or your support. I don’t know the details of your situation, but if you don’t have fun any more and you don’t feel the same attraction as before, it is natural and also best to move away from that. There are so many people in the world, and you haven’t yet met all the ones who will love you. There are better matches out there for both you and your current boyfriend – don’t you want to give both him and yourself the opportunity to find that happiness? If you stay in a situation where you’re unhappy, resentment will fester, and carrying that nasty feeling around will stunt your personal/emotional growth. I know it hurts and it may feel like a betrayal, but it’s not. Letting a relationship end before the animosity grows to be too much is the mature and merciful decision to make. And I promise you both will be okay. When I was 18 I thought that despair might kill me, but it didn’t. And if I constrained myself to the situation I was in back then, I would have missed out on so much joy. Enacting change is incredibly difficult, and also incredibly worth it.
This stranger believes in you 🙂