How long can a man hold on a grudge?

38 comments

  3. If you fucked me over Bad (like vandalize my property or hurt a family member) I’ll be murderering you in my mind for years. Other than that, I don’t really stay mad at one person for more than about 10 minutes.

  7. It very much depends on the circumstances. But if cut deadly enough it’s like a bereavement, you learn to live with it but it never goes away.

  8. Bro they’re still killing eachother in the Middle East because the prophet’s two top advisers couldn’t get along in 632.

  11. Until one of us is dead. I won’t remember it usually but if the opportunity crops up to screw you in some way I will.

  12. Depends on severity if you did some fucked up shit you best believe at some point in time in your life I will get even, I am that petty vindictive SOB.

  13. Well I’ve seen some cases where it can be lifelong. I met this gen X American Italian guy at work before. He’ll tell you stories of all the people that screwed him. If you mention it he just explodes on the spot, “ oh that motherfuka…. That mothafukaaaaaaa…… grumble grumble”.

  16. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

    – Buddha

    I have read that Buddha was a big grudge holder. I don’t know how long he held his, but grudges can last a lifetime. From Buddhist perspective, that’s a lifetime of getting burned.

  18. i’ve held a grudge against my 3rd grade teacher ever since she threw my shoes across the room when i was tying them in class. fuck you ms portman (yes that’s her name).

    3rd grade for me was 1998

  20. I’ve lost touch with close friends for incredibly petty reasons, most of which are so insignificant that no one could figure out why they just suddenly decided that I was now their sworn enemy.

    I’d run into these guys 10-20 years later, and *still* fail at getting them to look me in the eye and follow through in my attempt to try and greet them like a decent human being who understands that people are people; we all change and mature.

    There are certainly understandable grudges, but then there are people who hold onto impressions of others in their minds and because they fail to communicate, that impression replays over and over again, and like worn tape, distorts and degrades. Then that warped and distorted perception *becomes* who they think that person is. I know I’ve been guilty of it and it’s something I try to be mindful of.

    Some folks just go through life and never think to change their tapes.

  21. 20 years and counting. My bully from elementary school is still a persona non grata who I have no interest in being friendly with in any way shape or form.

  23. 10 seconds or life in my case.

    Most stuff just rolls off my back but one guy I worked with made it his mission to prevent my career growth (he failed) but the fact he tried (and still tries) and never apologized will sit with me forever.

  25. 1 week for every year together x the level (1-10) on the degree of betrayl.

    I.e.
    4 years together
    cheated on him with his best friend = level 10

    4 x 10 = 40 weeks = about 10 months.

  27. Had a few co-workers screw me out of a promotions and raises.

    1 died of cancer I didn’t go to her funeral when we got the day off for it.

    1 lost his job. He used me as a reference I never gave him a good reference.

    The last one screwed me over a few more times. When I was laid off she called to see if I’d come back. I just laughed. I was making good enough money to not leave. But since they deemed me replaceable I sure as hell wasn’t coming back.

    Was talking to one of my old work buddies from there before Christmas. They’ve lost all their large contracts. Most of the machinery has been ruined due to lack of up keep. The manager who laid me off was demoted.

    It’s been 10+yrs
    Fuck them.

  28. Grudges aren’t gender specific. In my case, I try not to because it does poisons my psyche. So decisiveness is key. You decide to either
    1)Say/do something about it immediately or in time
    Or
    2) You decide is best to move on and forgive; though not forget

  29. Me personally I wouldn’t hold a grudge but I refuse to be hurt by the same person more than once, except for cases like family or a really important friend. I won’t wish harm on anyone who hurt me but I won’t associate with them anymore. If that’s what you meant by grudge, then I guess my answer is “forever”, but that doesn’t feel like a grudge to me. It’s not about them at all, honestly. It’s self-preservation

  35. I still fucking hate my bullies from school.

    One of my bullies blew his hand apart with fireworks a couple of years ago, and I was so excited he got some form of karma to impact him so hard.

    Fuck that guy. And I hope he blows off his other hand too

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