Me (26M) and my girlfriend (26F) lost our virginity together a week ago, and since then we’ve done it 4 times, but we’re having problems.
For her part, the first time we did it in the missionary position, and even though it hurt, after the pain went away she felt very good, but now whenever we try again it always hurts her, although other positions don’t hurt her, we’ve been using lubricant to help but in that position it doesn’t help.
For my part, I’ve had difficulties finishing, we’ve been using a condom and I don’t know if that’s why but I feel little sensitivity and although I like it, it doesn’t get me any closer to ejaculating, but if I take it off and she helps me with her hand I can finish.
If anyone has any tips that could help us, I’d really appreciate it!
16 comments
Foreplay. She could be feeling discomfort because she’s not stimulated enough. You shouldn’t rush into having sex. Tease each other and make sure you two are both 100% in the turned on. There’s no time limit with foreplay. It helps A LOT.
Also with missionary,, have her put a pillow under her lower back/butt to prop her up a bit. It could hurt because of the angle. For me, I need a pillow under me in missionary for it to feel comfortable.
Lots of foreplay, lube, and make sure she’s at an angle/propped up in missionary.
Have you tried lubricated condoms? Just process of elimination to see what positions don’t hurt her. Idk if a ginocalaguist can provide any in sight
just keep practicing
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Then you can be a parent. Congratulations.
I know the only time it hurt me was when I had a cyst on my ovaries.
Try different positions, lube, lube, lube, foreplay! It’s not a race, enjoy yourselves.
Thin condoms. If u don’t feel something that might be a solution
While giving her oral use lubed fingers to get her loosened up gradually and relaxed, its possible you can’t get off due to thinking about her pain
It’s probably nerves on both your parts. You’ve both been thinking about having it for the first time for a long time and are worried about it.
Spend time naked together. Explore each others bodies. Gentle touch and stroking. It’ll cum. And so will you
At your age, you’ve likely already conditioned your body to get off from your hand, so another person’s body may be confusing your brain. For her, you need time for your body to adapt to being penetrated as well. My advice would be to slow down, give it time, don’t put pressure on orgasming right now, and just get used to the sensations and play. Ease up on masturbating to give your brain a chance to reprogram.
Put a drop or two of lube in the condom. As well as lots on the outside. Make sure it fits you. So if it feels like it’s squeezing you too much then get a bigger size.
Make sure to get her turned on and use some fingers on her to ease her into opening up. Then try for the penetration.
Or start with something other than missionary if that feels better. Then after a few minutes try missionary (after she is warmed up)
You likely lack sensitivity from years of porn and masturbation. Quit and you will be fine in 1-4 months.
Do more foreplay and give it time, it’s only been a week! You two need to figure out what works and what doesn’t, also talk about sex, what your turn ons/offs are, what you both do to get yourselves off alone etc, it’ll help you two know what to do together and it’ll probably turn you both on for the inevitable ensuing sex 🙂
If you both waited long, she could have unresolved anxiety/trauma about sex. Check out r/vaginismus and get her to see doc asap. If it’s vaginismus, lube isn’t going to help. And the more painful sex you have, the more she will start to associate sex with pain (whether consciously or not). As someone with vaginismus please trust me on this.
r/bigdickproblems has solid resources on their sidebar as far as finding a properly fitting condom, if you feel that may be one issue. Contrary to popular belief, and perpetuated by those *stupid* demonstrations of people stretching condoms over extremely large objects, a condom should not be that restrictive. It should be just tight enough to stay securely in place.