There’s been a lot of pressure in the relationship (bereavements in my family, we had children, financial pressures) and I guess I’ve noticed a shift towards his behaviour to me.
As an example, there’s not much affection now and he’s saying ‘fuck my life’ a lot.
We’ve had multiple discussions about his porn use (live cam girls- he says he doesn’t pay or log in, he just watches them)he still does it but says to me he doesn’t! Also, I found he goes on escort websites. When I confronted him about this, he apologised and said he hasn’t done anything it’s just the thought of what’s out there that turns him on. Oh BTW, this was when I was heavily pregnant.
He’ll stay up until 2,3 or 4 in the morning and get up 11,12 1 in the afternoon. We have a 3 month old and a 3 year old whom I get up with in the mornings. He says he’s watching movies, playing xbox, etc, but as you can imagine after finding he watched cam girls I’m now paranoid that’s what he spends his time doing!
When I pop upstairs in the late morning/lunch time to put my toddler for his nap, it’s clear what he’s up to in bed as he’ll quickly pull the duvet over himself. I know this is tmi but after the stuff I’ve found I’ve become a paranoid mess.
He’ll still call me babe or darling and he’s adamant he wants to buy a house with me and our kids, but I have doubts how he really feels because of the above.
There’s very little sex now, and that’s because of a few things. Kids, tiredness and our bedtime/wake up time is completely differential but .
I’m tired, hormonal and feeling insecure so needed to rant. Please send advice and a virtual hug
2 comments
I’m confused as to who is going to work to pay the bills for your babies?
Do not buy a house with him unless all these issues have been resolved. He’s not putting in the work as a father or a husband and seems to desperately need a wake up call.
He doesn’t seem to realize what he’s jeopardizing. Have you established an open device policy? Would he be okay with you looking at things like that or male escorts?
You and your kids deserve so so much better.
Sending you all the hugs!