My boyfriend of 4 years told me up front that he wants to flirt with other girls. He said he will not go as far as doing anything physical but just wants to flirt. When I asked him why, he said it feels good to be popular among women. I mean, I get it. Everybody feels good being wanted but for the expense of hurting me? That, I don’t get. It’s basically just for his ego boost then. But for me, whatever it is, cheating is cheating and it shouldn’t be tolerated. He even told me that I should be glad because he told me up front and not doing it behind my back.
Am I being too tight? I personally think flirting is cheating and shouldn’t be done whether feelings are involved or not. Literally just a few minutes after he told me that I motivate him, he told me that flirting with other girls makes him feel good and it also motivates him. I really don’t understand. I feel uncomfortable and anxious about the future now that he’s told me that. I tried communicating to him how it’s making me feel but he just said that he will do his best not to but that he cannot promise 100%.
6 comments
if you’re uncomfortable with it, he shouldn’t have even brought it up a second time. a monogamous relationship is what you’ve agreed to, i assume. he basically wants to change that, even if he draws the line before sexual contact with other partners. it’s wrong for him to try and convince you to be ina situation you’re uncomfortable with. if he keeps pressuring you, i would tell him he can flirt with all the girls he wants but you won’t be one of them unless you’re the only one.
Just break up with him. His insecurity is icky. That’s the type of man who will cheat at any opportunity.
I would leave him. Dude is a walking red flag. Do you live together?
Everyone is different, and everyone has different boundaries of comfortability levels. Being comfortable is very impt, and you are not comfortable with this and foe him to say he can’t promise. That’s yet another red flag.. the first being even entertaining the idea . You were together for 4 years, and it sounds like he wants you to give the green light for him to see what else is out there. Id he teuly cated dor you, this thought wouldn’t have even crossed his mind.. If he does this. It won’t end well. The bigger issue is what is wrong with his ego, or is he insecure? If he loves the attention, he should open an OF account or post I’m r/selfie or r/amihot. Even though you have been together for 4 years, be prepared to end the relationship.
You should always be comfortable and never be made to feel uncomfortable. And I’d rhe guy truly cates doe you, he shouldn’t hurt you. Ever.
Tell him he can keep doing this while he jumps his fist or he can be in actual relationship
You should relieve him on the apparent enormous burden of your relationship on his life.