I try to talk to him, be nice and often times he is rude to me, criticises me, tells me what to do in a weird tone and I dont like it. I tried to get close to him but it feels like he doesn’t want to, unless he needs something from me. He changes sometimes from being good to bad. I also noticed he doesn not look even at me in a group enviroment, like if its my dad, him and me, I’m being ignored.
3 comments
This reminds me of my childhood. Being 9 years older than my little sister I treated her poorly. I still don’t know why. Maybe because I was going through puberty and had a hard time controlling or understanding my intense emotions. Maybe it had something to do with how our parents treated us so differently. My mom treated me like a villain and an intruder in her home, while my sister was the princess. We have a brother between our ages but he just hid in his room most of our childhood. My stepdad hated me. He told me as much. And him coming into my life when I was a toddler meant that I was raised with hatred my whole life and even though he didn’t express his true feelings until he was drunk at my 17th birthday, I always knew he hated me. But he looked at my sister like she was the purpose of life. So, maybe the way your brother treats you has nothing to do with you. Maybe it is a reflection of how he feels about the dynamic of the family. Just try to be understanding. Try to ask him if he is okay and if he doesn’t like you for something you did. Now that I’m almost thirty, it nearly brings me to tears thinking about the distance between me and my siblings. Maybe he’ll feel the same way.
Im like this with my younger brother because growing up my mom was very emotionally abusive towards us and I took it all out on my younger siblings.
Also my mom would always tell me “you hate your brother you hate your brother you hate your brother” and made it clear he was her favorite kid over my siblings (Not over me, we were treated very similar). I used to have a burning hatred for the guy (and my mom) but its been a couple years since all that and we’re just indifferent towards each other now. I couldn’t stand actually having to talk to him but its just dead between us. no talking.
Most people feel bad about themselves. Some people deal with the feelings by trying to bring others down, in the vane hope that they can convince themselves that “I may be awful, but at least Im not as bad as them” once you can see it, feel sorry that they are hurting so much, their behaviour can become really funny.
But it is toxic, and it probably won’t get better, so minimise your time around him and don’t take anything he says personally.