[28F][32M] my fiance (F) left me for another woman

Known this woman for 10 years. Was best friends with her for 3 years and started a relationship that lasted 7 love filled years. We got engaged this time last year in December after covid and it seemed golden the next months prior. She would still send me love filled texts and small notes on how she was blessed to have this last for so long and how everything she wished for our future is finally manifesting. This all lasted until late spring early summer when she took on a job helping people with eating disorders, so more a psych type job. It offered her free therapy and she took it on. She told me she was going to therapy for the stress that the work gave her. But slowly i started to notice she was being distant.

She came out as bisexual in October and started to entertain the idea of possibly wanting space until January to find herself and be happy. That she only had 2 sexual partners including myself and didnt have a chance to experience life and did not want to resent me for not exploring herself. The realtionship was becoming a dead garden for her as I was not investing much time watering it. Self realizing i probably took her for granted. Date nights. Beach walks. Hiking all of the small things got put in the back burner on my end. She also built up a resentment on having a “late” proposal. How she wanted commitment and had emtional break downs because i didnt commit with a ring. My excuse? A ring wont prove what we have. And the irony of it?…. was i didnt want to propose and it not amount to anything.

While coming out as bisexual. My anxiety hit to 100 and i started to do everything she was wanting from me eariler in the realtionship and spending more time with her. Becoming needy. Pushing her more away in the process. She mentioned she felt trapped. She felt suffocated. And so wanting the space to figure herself out still. All of this in October while being extremely initmate with me basically everyday. (Last hoorah?).

She noticed i was trying hard so she wanted to spend halloween weekend with me. And we had such a great time. We danced. Went to downtown. Met some people at the bar. Chatting it up. Getting compliments on our costume and her on her engagment ring she was wearing. It felt perfect. I felt like i was possibly getting her back from this mentally draining month.

Next day. She wanted the break still. She told me her head is not in it. Shes mentally checked out of the relationship. I told her we always made a deal withour selves that breaks dont mean anything and if she wanted to seperate from me then to just say it. She broke things off Nov 1.

I never thought she would be the person to break my heart or hurt me in anyway. I got emotional and still wanted to believe in us. She reached out the following week to “check on me” ask about my therapy sessions im taking. And it was a short talk. She also called me on Thanksgiving a week after and the following week after a whole month with her belongings at my place… made a date to pick her things up early December

Seeing her after a month was something i wasnt ready for. She offered to take me to starbucks real quick and i joined. We came back and she proceeded to pick her things up. While doing this I learned a Sam Smith ” Lay with me” song on piano. One of her favorite artists. And i showed her. It was a emotional song. Basically spoke to my heart brokeness. She loved it so much she asked me to play it again and she sang to it. I felt it there was a connection. So i asked if she wanted to forget packing lets go out. She stopped then said its too soon. We cant hang out because she knows im hurting. So i didnt push the idea and helped her with her things while her dad was waiting outside.

Spoke with her dad and he looked dissapointed in everything. Told me he would of been of the happiest man alive if we planned out the wedding for final. He wished me the best and i thanked him for the love and everything. And i hope to see him someday. To which he replied im sure i will. Then she left

She did call me for my bday on the 13th and wished me well. Short convo about 10 mins and small talk. The next saturday she texted me in the morning at the highway on my way to work to tell me “hey youre behind me!”. Rolled her window down and waved at me before she made her exit. I still was holding on to hope.

1 buttdial the next thursday after. I didnt answer. Nor did she call back to say it was a accident or confirm she wanted to talk to me. I still held on to hope. Maybe she is thinking of me? Maybe she had enough space to think things through.

Yesterday on the 29th. I wake up and see she posted photos on her ig with a woman. A love interest basically. 1 of the photos she was kissing the womans cheek. Next photo was a heart made from towels. Completely devasted i called her and she answered to ssy she has nothing to say or explain. That we are over and shes happy.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve. I apologized for the selfishness i carried going through the 7 yrs together. I wish i would of said yes to all of your interests like you did for me. That there is nothing i could do or say to bring her back now but i stayed loyal and faithful. I loved her with everything. To which she cut me off and said she couldnt listen to me crying and hurt. She had to go and hung up.

I am hurt and lost myself. She took a part of me leaving 7 yrs to “find herself” with a woman she just met this past several months.

I dont know what to do. I feel like i will just be alone for now. I proposed to this girl last year. I thought we had a future together and i torture myself reading the text messages she gave me during june and july talking about how blessed she was to have me in her life. Me being her safe space. Excited for our future together.

Usually therapy is a good thing but i get the idea that she psyched herself out.

And for some sick reason…i still want to hold on to hope that she can come back. But i will forever know. She will not be the same person ive known for 10 years. I want to believe this is all a horrible nightmare. 7 years and She seemed the most secure in us than even I did. I know what i lost. I hope God can help me because that is all i really have now.