I (15F) was asked to go to a overnight camping trip for my friend’s 16th birthday in a couple months. The issue is I know she invited another one of our friends. Let’s call her A. A (16f) and I had some history from right before I moved and I haven’t seen her since. I feel very uncomfortable around her because she can be very pushy and has taken advantage of me before after giving me alcohol.
I really don’t want to see her and the thought makes me really anxious but I want to be there for my friend’s birthday. I moved a couple hours away so I don’t get to see her much and she really really wants me to go. My sister thinks that this could lead to a very bad situation and I think she’s right but I also want to be there for her.
I’ve only kind of talked to my friend about how uncomfortable I feel around A but I just feel bad making anyone in our friend group pick sides. The whole situation has really taken a toll on me and has impacted my mental health. I still worry I’m being dramatic or making it up in my head so it’s really hard to talk to anyone about it. I don’t live there anymore and I feel like because they see her and hang out with A more often it seems pointless to talk to them about it.
Should I go and possibly put myself in a bad situation for the sake of my other friend?
Tl;Dr: Should I go on a overnight camping trip where friend who has been very sexually pushy will also be?
3 comments
have you told your friend exactly why A makes you feel uncomfortable? if she has been that way with you, theres a chance she has/will be with others. i think the friend who invited you will understand why you don’t want to be around A, or will ask A not to come
If you’d rather avoid A, can you plan a bd celebration with just you and her around the big day?
Don’t go. Even if you go, you will have to keep your guard up whole time. And camping means less sleep quality, less privacy. Also because, realistically, camping trip of 15 years old means high chance of peer pressure to drink alcohol. Yoi won’t be able to fully participate and keep yourself safe. Judging from your hints, A tried to sexualy abuse you already once.
Here is the thing – your feelings matter as much as your friends ones. Your safety matters, full stop. Do not endanger yourself out of fear that your friends will be slightly uncomfortable.
Your decision for yourself to not camp with A would be smart one. The impact on friends is unfortunate, but unavoidable. Compared to your risk, uncomfort of your friends is minor anyway.