My experience with online dating has been pretty terrible thus far.
At the beginning of last month, I got all dressed up and drove out two hours to meet a guy I’d been messaging with for a few weeks. He was unexpectedly drunk and acting weird towards me. After about 10 minutes of being there, he said “I don’t think I can do this”, which I initially assumed was related to the fact that he had just lost his job the week prior but still insisted on meeting up despite me offering to postpone.
I was understanding despite the big waste of time, but something else seemed off so I straight up asked him “Is this about the job or is it something else?”
He ultimately told me “You look nothing like how I expected from your pictures.”
This blindsided me and triggered some dysmorphia because I had multiple full body shots of myself, and even some when I was about ten pounds heavier. Also, a guy I had met at the beginning of the year and dated for five months told me when we met that I actually looked exactly like my photos (unprovoked when I was joking about being an old man catfishing him).
I took the advice of some Reddit posts I found and asked my friends and family, who also told me I looked exactly like my photos, but it’s hard to know if they were just being nice.
I took a break after this but ended up changing nearly all of my photos on my dating profile and even posting my height and weight in the bio.
So, I video chatted last night with this guy I’ve been talking to and it went well, but I can feel myself still being paranoid about whether or not I’m a catfish. We’re planning to meet up in person on Friday, and I’m stressed that it’s going to happen again or he’ll be disappointed.
Is there any tactful way for me to ask him so I can get past this?
Would he even be honest, or just white lie me if he felt the same?
1 comment
I think your anxiety from the previous guy is affecting your decisions. I don’t think you need to say anything to this new guy, especially if multiple people said you looked like your photos.
Some people (like previous guy, who was drunk and feeling emotionally raw and shitty already) say things to people just to hurt them, and that may have been the case.
If you are still feeling weird, ask to exchange proof pics. You ask them to send you a pic of them holding a piece of paper with their name/your name and the date and then you do the same and send them one of you. That might ease your fears.