Background: I am (15m) and my parents got divorced when me and my little sister (13f) were 7 and 5. My dad (40m) later married my stepmom Cheri (39f) and my mom (46f) later married my stepdad Art (52m).
I have known for a while that I am gay, I’ve always found boys attractive and just never found an attraction to girls. Last year I met my boyfriend Dean (15m) at school and we have been secretly dating. This Christmas I decided it was time to come out. While my dad ,Cheri , and Art were all supportive my mom was not.
When I told her she got upset with me and said that being gay is a sin and that I needed to stop or I was going to hell. I cried because of her. She has tried apologizing and said she was just shocked and didn’t know why she said that. I asked her if she still loved me and she said she will always love me and then I told her she couldn’t truly love me if she didn’t love all of me and now we haven’t spoken in a couple days but she has tried reaching out.
So I don’t know what to do and my other family members haven’t given me much good advice. Please help me internet strangers cause I’m lost and heartbroken.
TLDR- my mom wasn’t okay with me being gay while my other family members were.
3 comments
I am sorry your mother treated you so badly. It sounds like she is trying to get better though. It used to be extremely common for people who came out to get horrible reactions from their parents, like you did, and then have a parent come around and become a true supporter. So, I hope your mother will. It’s a bit less forgivable in the current time period, since she really has had enough time to wrap her head around it and gay rights have improved dramatically. But if she starts handling it well, I think you should give her another chance.
Hey, I just wanted to send you support and hugs. I hope you’re doing ok.
With your Mom – take it slow, and keep chatting. This was probably a huge shock for her, and her response to you was awful. But just keep that channel of communication open – you’ll probably both feel better after she gets that first apology out of the way.
It could take years for her to accept you in your completeness as you are. It won’t be an easy path. But if there’s a foundation of love there, then there’s some hope.
This could have been much worse. Be glad that she’s reaching out and accepting you, though maybe not your sexuality. It may be the best she can do, so make the best of it. It’s part of life that it’s complicated and not often easy.