Hi!
I have two things that I would love to get advice on.
I’m a ciswoman (early 20s) and I’ve been seeing a cisman (early 30s) for a few months now. The sex is really good. It’s very passionate and he feels good so no complaints there. About a month ago, he proposed to start having sex without condoms, which I was okay with. I got tested pretty immediately and was clean and let him know.
So my first thing is that he keeps saying he’s “too busy” to get tested. I just feel like after I got tested, he doesn’t feel like it’s necessary so keeps putting it off. Every since we stopped using protection I ask him about it every time and he brushes it off and says he will get it to as soon as he can. I don’t get why he’s pushing it off so long, I already tested clean so it’s not like there’s a fear of him having anything. I just want to make sure. I would love some advice on this.
The second thing is that we never do foreplay for me. I have a pretty big oral fixation so I love giving head and I’m more than happy to do it for him. But like, it also feels good for me too. And I’m very awkward and uncomfortable when it comes to explicitly asking for it back so some advice on how to subtlety get some foreplay action for me too would be very appreciated.
Thank you!
3 comments
I would run. Huge red flag with him not getting tested and then on top of that not caring about your pleasure.
He seems very selfish. He only cared if he was going to catch something new, not if he gave anything to you.
He only seems to care about cumming himself and not about you.
IMHO he is treating you more like a fleshlight and a partner. What do you get out of this? (Also get tested! If you aren’t monogomous explicitly, it is very likely he is sleeping with other people and you have no idea what he might be sending your way).
Testing is very important so him not wanting to test is a red flag in a relationship. Not in the sense that he may have STD but that he isn’t willing to take the time to reassure you. From what you said it seems like you have already had sex without condom multiple times. If you still have no STD it’s likely he doesn’t have either but definitely make him test himself. Sexual health is not a joke.
When it comes to foreplay most men wouldn’t mind if you ask them to do it but are also clueless what to do. I know I was. If he isn’t performing well guide him during the act itself. It’s far more difficult to explain it before or after.
Why did you stop using protection if he hadn’t been tested yet?
You only stop when both of you test clean.
Also, when/if he shows you his test results, make sure they are legit.
To be honest he sounds shady af.
I would run from that relationship if I were you.