30F here. I have an chronic leg condition that severely limits my mobility. Sometimes I use a cane. Outwardly, there isn’t any indication (unless I’m using the cane obvs).
I never know how to approach it when it comes to suggesting dates or whatever. I feel so awkward. I have to consider
my leg when I’m making plans and how much I can handle. It’s awful.
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I’m similar, housebound a lot of time unable to walk much due to chronic feet pain. For me it’s when we start talking about meeting as it would limit what kind of dates etc we could do
-is it: worsening? stable but permanent? gradually recovering/improving?
If there’s a diagnosis, what is its name?
Just a bit of a anecdote here but. I worked with a guy and he was a handsome guy I’m my straight opinion haha. But he lost his hand and forearm in an accident. But he was jacked. I saw him pick up something that was 200 pounds with his good hand. But his amputated arm was thin with no muscle.
The point I was going with this, is that I found him on insta. And EVERY SINGLE PHOTO HE WOULD HID IT. The picture would either be with a group friends and his arm would be behind the back of the person next to him. Or just taken form the left side of him or just zoomed in enough that it was cropped out.
I’m not tryna make fun of the handicapped guy. He was really smart and funny. And he probably dosnt get alot of swipes on tinder if he show that. But man you can’t just hide it until first date , surprise! I tricked ya!
Tldr: just show it in your pictures and maybe spend one sentence on it with a funny joke. It doesn’t have to have serious influence on your dating.
This is just my PERSONAL thoughts. I hope they help you understand my male perspective, but Just remember other people might give you a completely different answer.
So I matched with some girls with a physical disability (wheel chair). IMO, they were nice but they kept off the boat themselves. I wasn’t directly disinterested, and I found it good of them to be so open. I actually became disinterested on the usual reasons: not being able to maintain conversation, toxic views on men and manlihood and a personality based on politics. Especially the later one is a huge turn off for me. Like: cool you’re a center liberal green communist (is that a thing? Just making up this label), but what is your favorite show?
I don’t care if it’s some disability with your legs. It would be more scary to me when it’s a mental disability or something full body:
* I don’t click “like” on girls with signs of mental retardation. I encountered such a girl once, and just rejected her as friendly as I could. We talked a long time about some special subject to her. I don’t want to have that much power over someone.
* I would have trouble being a caretaker to someone. I am still studying and I need to have a certain investments to succeed. For example: I might have evening meetings. So I would need someone to be semi-independent: being able to work, having her own friends and not expecting me to show up twice a day to her house for something urgent (last point happened to a bipolar ex of mine).
Hi there! I lost the family lottery and ended up with multiple genetic disorders that cause some form of a physical disability. The four biggest symptoms that negatively impact my dating life are A. Severe sun allergy/photosensitivity. B. Severe food (specifically seafood) allergies. C. Joints dislocating more easily than on a normal person and D. Because of those genetic disorders, I cannot safely and will not have children. I generally do well with it and have kept a good attitude and learned to work my life around those things over the years but I understand that it is still a lot for many guys to handle.
I tell men I may be interested in dating real darned quickly. Like, before the first date quickly. Whether it be lifestyle (someone who loves to be outdoors a lot in the sun and understandably wants someone who can join them without being decked out head to toe in UPF protective fabric and parasol), goals (wants kids of their own), or just their own preferences and not wanting to deal with that, I’d rather mention it early and let them choose if they want to opt in/out rather than wait and potentially waste everyone’s time. Tell them calmly, explain how it impacts you and be willing to answer civil questions. Finding a way to give a heads up in advance saves you both from painful surprises down the line when you are both more emotionally invested.
Sometimes the response is no and while that rejection stings, they are ultimately doing you both a favor in the long run. Not everyone has the right life or temperament to handle the challenges dating someone with certain disabilities can sometimes present and that is okay… It just makes those ones that do stick around even more special. A lot of people would be surprised at how many actually do.
Immediately. Rip it off like a band-aid. Either they like you or they don’t. Anything beyond you telling them immediately is you trying to butter them up in hopes of them overlooking it.
This is a reworking of a different thread today about something similar. There’s a way to be upfront without making it awkward: if you’re having a conversation online getting to know each other, you can ask him a ? like, “what is something you’ve struggled with” or other ? that also helps you get to know something about him. Then you can disclose your condition in a way that it shows your character. You can even be vulnerable and say how you’ve felt about bringing it up to him.
I am deaf in one ear, and I would have to find creative ways to bringing it up in the conversation so they knew what to expect coming in (then we could also pick dates that accommodated my hearing loss). If you don’t disclose ahead of time you could be getting to a date where you can’t enjoying yourself because you’re worried about how your disability is inhibiting you.
💕