I’m F(52) heterosexual, been single for a very very long time – most of the last 22 years, apart from a 2 year relationship, where the sex was straightforward but frequent and good.
I’ve been overweight a lot of that time, I have a nice young looking face, look about 35-40 I’m told, dress well and look OK clothed, and even in lingerie, but honestly and realistically I don’t look good naked. During my 40s I gave up on men – my sex drive was low as I was in perimenopause and I dated a couple of awful guys who were entitled and yet bad in bed.
Now however I’m on a new HRT and feel horny a LOT, I don’t sleep well due to fantasising, I watch porn, I’m antsy whenever I’m alone. I’m very touch starved. I’d like a relationship or at least a NSA, but my body confidence is low. I need to masturbate and I do try a lot, but I only have very weak orgasms if at all. I’ve tried various vibrators, butt plugs, dildos, nipple toys etc but they don’t help and cost me a lot by experimenting. I’ve not tried a clit sucker and I’m wary as they are expensive. This isn’t new – I’ve only ever been good at orgasming with a partner, I need the feel and smell of a man. My hands and a piece of plastic just don’t work! I get worn out, have a feeble orgasm and give up. It actually makes me feel worse – unsatisfied and incompetent.
I’m trying to lose weight so I feel confident enough to be with a man, but what can I do in the meantime to satisfy my needs?
8 comments
There’s a plethora of men who would be glad to have an NSA arrangement with you regardless of how you look.
Literally an endless supply. More than you could fuck in a lifetime.
It seems it’s only your insecurity holding you back. You said you need the feel and smell of a man. Go find a man.
Yep, literally all you have to do is ask. Try posting some of your favorite pictures of yourself where you feel good. Might help boost your confidence.
Check out r/estim – I’m a guy but heard it’s also good for girls, electric stimulation orgasms are way better than any toy I’ve tried.
Can you not send me private messages please. Ideas are welcome posted on the public thread.
I don’t want to post photos of myself online to fish for complements, go on onlyfans or do snap with strangers, but thanks for the suggestions. What I think about how I look is paramount to me, not getting comments or likes.
It could be a mental block or the wrong toys.
Good toys are not cheap but they do work. Try a Wevibe Tango-X or a rechargeable “magic” wand.
The Satisfyer is not as expensive as the Womanizer and does a good job. Clit suckers are not for everyone though.
I once had an FWB who very rarely masturbated on her own. She could only get there if she had a partner with her touching her body while she worked on herself. And there’s really nothing wrong with that. Perhaps you have similar needs but you are held back by your body confidence. I myself have found that my confidence is heavily linked to my ability to get aroused and to climax. You either need to physically improve your body to where you can be confident in it (which it sounds like you’re already working on), or more likely you need to improve your own emotional self image. We live in a world that puts a lot of pressure on us to fit into specific cookie cutter body types, and it’s especially bad for women.
Have you maybe thought doing something extra naughty like selling your used panties babe? There are a lot of people out there who are into that kind of stuff and they pay good money for a pair of panties and videos and or pictures babe
I think there is very little you can do outside of work on your mental state when it comes to hooking up with people. You act like you need to look like a greek godess to be able to be wanted by men but that is as far from the truth as possible.
The ugly-ist people on the planet have been finding partners and fucking others since the dawn of time, cutting yourself off because you don’t match an image from your head is hurting you more than helping.
It feels like what you need is just NSA sex to enjoy yourself which would be incredibly easy to find for yourself and meet what you are looking for. No one is going to be insulting someone they might be getting to fuck so you at least can build your confidence there as you work on yourself for a future long-term parter and who knows you might just stumble upon one when looking for a FWB.
Most people live and die as a 4-6 and never ever reach the upper echelons of looks but fuck people everyday. Judging by how you are describing yourself I am sure you are a very beautiful woman who would have no problem finding someone who thought that you were the most beautiful person on the planet.
You just need to put yourself out there. Could you be hurt? Sure. What do we do in life that is worth it that is risk free? IMHO very little. In this case, the worst that can happen is you end up where you are already. The best that can happen is you find a dick that makes your cum everynight and treats you well. Seems like there is a lot of upside to getting out there to me.