I’ve been one of those people for the longest time lurking in the shadows, reading the articles to get some marriage insights. Some helpful, some funny, others just informational. I guess with the new year approaching in a few hours just fell like talking.
I’ve been with my wife for 20 years, married for 17. We have 2 children together, both boys 16 and 13. The picture of marriage in my head is definitely not what reality turned out to be, reality has a way of smacking you real hard. We settled into a routine of no talking just bare minimum of communication from both of us, barely any sex, resentment and probably a bunch of other not so healthy traits.
A few years ago maybe 8ish, she approached the subject of marriage counseling and I being the hard headed stubborn person I am, thought we could handle it and just had to talk to each other. Well read the above paragraph again to see how that turned out. About 2 years ago I was talking to a female coworker who listened to me and didn’t make me feel like crap. Long story short I had an affair with her. At first it was just office flirting, but then I found excuses to stay late and come in early, so yes I pursued her. This is not a I hate my wife post, this is a clearing my chest.
So flash forward to tonight. I’m laying on my dad’s spare bed typing this, my kids are at their apartment and she’s out with girlfriends. In January she is filing for divorce and since there are kids involved it can get messy, but when it comes to them we have been able to discuss what is best for them.
But honestly through all of what I typed and the mountain of other stuff that I will spare you from, I am finding me again and a little happiness.
Thank you for letting me vent. Happy New Year