I’m 19(f) just want to lose my virginity. I’ve been with this guy for 5 years now, but every time I bring myself to try vaginal, I’m never ends well. I’m very anxious sexually, maybe it’s because I’m with the wrong person, or maybe it’s because I have a fear. I have a hard time understanding the way men think, sexually, and in general about women. I know I’m not asexual, I enjoy masturbation and I’ve had good sexual experiences, so idk. The pain I experience is an instant turn off. It makes me not even care to try. I know I should spend some of my time stretching my hymen a bit, but is there any other advice someone could offer? Idk. I understand that sexual attraction and pleasure is a normal part of being human, It just doesn’t seem as normal or natural to me as it should be
3 comments
Do you feel comfortable with your boyfriend? Cuz if you don’t after 5 years that may be a part of the problem. Do you do other sexual acts?
Honestly, here are a few things that stand out from what you wrote.
1. You are probably an anxiety filled person in general.
2. Men don’t even understand what they are thinking about when it comes to life a good portion of the the themselves, so there is no reason that you should expect yourself to do so.
3. If you think that you are with the wrong guy, you are probably right about that. You don’t give details but you know best
4. Losing your virginity just to lose it is not going to solve any of the other issues. It might amplify some of them instead.
5. You might want to consider talking to a professional if anxiety is an issue for you.
I just went back and read your profile. Anxiety does seem to be an issue.
1. If you’re anxious about sex, go talk to a therapist. There are a lot of emotions at play, and being able to navigate through them requires a lot of help.
2. If you’re experiencing pain, then it definitely is a barrier to sex in general. You can talk to your PCP to see if there’s something you can do.
3. Be open in communication with your partner. If you can’t have vaginal intercourse then it is not the end of the world. You are definitely able to do oral and/or anal if you are comfortable with them.
Lastly, it can be difficult getting a therapist that works; however you need to be persistent. I would even suggest seeing a psychologist if you feel like your anxiety is bad enough.
It’s no fun living in anxiety.