I just got into a relationship for the first time In 3-4 years and I found it quite difficult expressing affectionate thoughts, like “I feel comfortable around you”
Last night I was talking to them and they said when I said things like that, it sounds like I have a gun pointed to my head and it makes them feel uncomfortable.
I do feel like I am forcing myself to say it but I really do mean it, I just have a bad case of awkwardness due to my anxiety and it takes a lot of effort for me to vocalize affection, thus making it sound forced.
They said its cute but when they said the before statement it just made me feel really sad and now I feel like I will overthink it even worse now.
How can I come across more genuine and less forced?
1 comment
You can preface it with something like “I want to tell you something, and I don’t say this often, so it might sound awkward.” Also, if you’re saying something positive, then smile before you say it and smile after too.
Other than that, you just need to keep saying these things. The more you do this, the more comfortable you will be. People who are good at saying affectionate thoughts are good because they’ve done it a lot. It’s that simple.
I suggest you also practice with other people, not just your partner. Learn to say things like “I had a good time hanging out with you today” or “You are very easy to talk to” or “I always have fun doing [activity] with you.”