I always start my post about how I’m a 25 years old virgin with zero dating experience. I don’t even have female friends. Naturally alot of people’s alarms will go off and think that I haven’t tried or that I must be a creep. But the truth is that women just don’t find me attractive. It was a hard pill to swallow and I still struggle knowing that women aren’t thinking about me.
Well i found out that alot of it was the advice that I was given wasn’t good so I hope this enlightening you like it did me.
First off, let’s get away from the idea that people will pick up on your confidence and energy. This is extremely passive!!! I get it that we should work on our energy but it takes more than that to attract people and women.
You need receipts. Everything you do should show in your life. For example, if you are a fun guy, then naturally your life should have fun opportunities. If you are intelligent, then you should be the president of the chess club. Basically your life is showing rather than you telling. In my own life, I’m a boxer, in med school, and I travel. However, I come off like I haven’t left my house in weeks. This is bad because girls don’t see the real me.
Lastly, stop believing that there is the right one out there. Dating is a skill and sometimes it’s because you are incompatible. Other times your charisma is low. We live in society where people expect you to know social norms. In dating, as much as we don’t want to admit it. There are parts women and men play in dating. Learn your part and it will open opportunities
4 comments
Dude ive had some trouble dating at times. And i do have some low confidence im working on. When i talk about my insecurities with my therapist she says i need more confidence and girls can tell. But i try to explain to her that the way i act in our sessions is not how i act outside i feel like i do a good job at making conversations and showing the real me when i meet a girl. Some of my friends even tell me im super confident. I always tell my therapist i doubt that the reason im striking out is all due to confidence.
Having interesting hobbies is great because it will give you something to talk about and you will be a more interesting person, not because you need receipts.
Dating is kind of a skill and you do need to learn the social norms so you don’t come off as creepy or desperate. I do agree with that.
Confidence is super helpful and is the opposite of passive. Be the first one on the dance floor. Talk to strangers. No one cares if you’re the president of the chess club if you don’t have the confidence to talk to them in the first place.
If you want to come across as more ‘physically attractive’;
1. Play the social matrix game by trying to have great looks, lots of money, and a nice car. This way however, means you’re constantly exposed to the risk of a woman jumping ship if a better version comes along.
2. Learn to attract a woman with your behaviours and personality so that she feels attracted and connected to you on a deep emotional level, so that she invests in you.
Your lifestyle of course plays a role, and it should come through in your interactions.
Are you sure you’re unattractive, or are you just unattractive to women in your area? Growing up, I felt the same way until I got out there more and started talking to women in other area. Other areas of my state hours away, other states and even other countries. I came to realize that while I wasn’t the best socially growing up, I pretty much have nothing in common with most of the people in my area. Plus there’s always Filipinas sending me facebook requests, so there’s that lol and no they aren’t the scammer ones.