[31M] [26F] Ex-FWB regularly reaches out over a period of 5 years, but has never said he has feelings for me. Why is he reaching out so much? Help. Pls.

K.

So when I was F 20 I had an FWB M26 we will call Bob. Idk, Bob and I had good, healthy sex together. I was kind of annoying to him a lot. He paid for all of my ubers to see him, which were like $70+ a week lol. He got concerned I was seeing other people, asked how he compared to them, and asked about them in general, etc. I was in town for a month so being serious with Bob was never really an option.

The last time I slept with Bob it was definitely a bit dif. It was much more romantic, and we enjoyed each other’s general company a lot more (more jokes, more intimiate, idk). After Bob finished he kept kissing me then PUT A WHOLE BODY PILLOW BETWEEN US.

So naturally I was like jesus, Bob hates me. Later I told Bob I got an STI and he should get tested. This information was wrong, so I freaked him out for no reason.

A few months post-Bob I am with my long-term bf. 5 years have since gone by and Bob reaches out multiple times a year, especially around the holidays.

Usually he’d just ask to hang out and I’d be like no I have bf sry, and whatever. Sometimes he’ll say something I said was funny on my story, or he’d compliment me. Last year he kept urging me to cheat on my bf. He was upset I wasn’t single and urged me to break up with my bf. I said no, obv. Then he kept telling me how I was so amazing, how he wished I was single, etc. I was bored so I asked “do u like me or something” and he said he liked fucking me, which I already knew, so I got bored and sotpped talking to him. Then Bob made a comment about how I left abruptly.

SO THEN a few days ago Bob asked me to have phone sex with him, then he apologized in the morning and said he was drunk and asked me about my life, I got bored and stopped responding. In general he kept talking about how amazing our sex was, how much fun he had, whatever.

I understand the sex was good but is 5 years not excessive? Idk. What’s going on lol. It just seems long. He’s apparently seeing other people and that’s going fine. He’s a nice guy with a good job. Idk why he can’t just date someone, and why he keeps reaching out to me, tbh. I also told him I gave him an STI, so idk why he even wants to talk to me.