Women of Reddit who had the same group of life long friends – how and when did you know you weren’t connecting as much anymore?

7 comments

1. When you’re dreading spending time with them, when you don’t talk anymore, or when they start giving you weird looks, not laughing at your jokes, denying your requests to talk, or choosing others over you. That’s when I knew my friendship was falling apart

2. I’ve had my group for over 30yrs and I’ve only had that happen with one person …tbh, she was the newest one to the group 20yrs ago and we never clicked so I was cordial and polite; she wasn’t the person I’d want to hang out with and if no one but her was attending an event, I would not go. We didn’t click because she was one of those super insecure people who would give you backhanded compliments, one-up everyone, shit talk about everyone else she knew (so we new she was probably shit talking about us) etc…that sort of thing. I dreaded every time we had an event and she was attending and it was so exhausting after being around her because she was just the worst energy vampire.

3. [removed]

4. After 25 years of friendship I realize my friends would meet up very frequently with each other without me. So,…I guess we just evolved in different ways. It hurt like hell, but I’m confident it will heal eventually

5. For me it was a combination of things. They didn’t want to come to me, I always had to drive to them which started to feel very one sided. I would call, text, send mail, and send funny things I saw and they wouldn’t respond or just say one word and then not initiate or carry on a conversation. They didn’t remember my birthday or come to birthday parties I hosted. After a year or two of that I decided to invest my time and energy in people who reciprocate it.

6. When I started having resentment for them. My friendships didn’t feel fulfilling. It felt like they didn’t know me at all. My birthday was a bust compared to very one else. I changed a lot about myself and some of those changes meant getting some jokes making fun of it. As time passed I felt like I couldn’t show them my truth. Whatever I said anyway wouldn’t get me any good advice or support. One even made me feel bad for being friends with someone new. I felt like I became someone else yeah but I didn’t expect for them not to support me. Life was meant to evolve. This happened the moment I hit 30. I started to feel lonely even if I had them.

7. When they stopped reaching out as often, when they stopped contributing much to our group chats beyond a thumbs up, when they started giving distant or brief replies when asked for advice, when they didn’t seem that enthusiastic about a catch up even though it had been ages

   I had a group of who I thought were lifelong friends for more than 20 years. One by one they all did the above and now there’s only two of us left. The upside is the two of us are still best friends.