Question about looking for dates

2 comments

1. Everyone has their own experience, but in my experience it is not.

   Im a guy and id say im a fairly good looking dude. Im not the most handsome or well dressed but i think i look good enough and dress well enough. My experience on dating apps is maybe i get 1 match a month and it goes nowhere. I either get unmatched immediately or we talk for a bit and i get ghosted, maybe i try to plan a date after building some trust and still goes nowhere. I talk to my guy friends and they have the similar experiences and some of these guys id say are much more attractive than me. One of them is 6’2”, greek and goes to the gym everyday. For women it’s different but just as frustrating. Theres 2 times as many guys as girls on the apps so women get alot of matches but the quality sucks. And its hard for guys to distinguish themselves. Youd have better odds at just going to a bar and walking up to someone because most guys dont have the guts to walk up to someone and start a conversation. There will be rejections and times you feel dumb for trying. Theres been times i walked up to a girl and she was obviously not interested. I dont try to change their mind or anything i end the conversation quickly and tell them to have a nice day.

   Dating apps for me was frustrating and i fell in the trap of “well if this is how its like on dating apps, then why go to bers and put more effort for the same results”. After building back some confidence to try and go out, i realized i was did much better at bars. Im not saying i pulled every weekend but id say id get a girls number every time i went out. About half the times i got ghosted. Id also say out of every few (2-3) weekends i might make out with someone, even if its just a one time tipsy drunk makeout.

   It sucks when it ends up not going as i hoped But it is a confident boost to go out talk to someone, get their number and maybe even make out. Where the alternative for me is to hopefully get a match and hope it goes somewhere and if it doesn’t then i feel worse cause i got nothing out of it and didnt feel any connection. Also messaging leaves too much to imagination. Sometimes its like “did she respond out of oity or is she actually interested?” And then if you get ghosted it becomes a “what couldve have done?” Type of thing.

   Id say use dating apps but with a grain of salt. Dont use it as your main way of getting dates. The inly people i know who have gotten many dates tend to be women are more open to meeting people and going on dates.

2. Nope, better apps could be Hinge, Bumble, OKcupid, but in general, online dating apps aren’t the best avenue.