Im trying to keep it short but its a long ass story. At least in my mind.
We been together with my GF[22F] for almost 2 years now sex life is amazing i was always sexual. Then suddenly when we had sex and i wasnt really there mentally i got limp mid sex. It frusrated me. I never want that to happen again. A few months later it happened again. We joked that a 3rd time would be bad. Then her and me had a whole week for ourself no parents finally at my place i thought we really gonna hit it off that week. First two days(when family was home) it was fire. Loved it. Then next day i didnt wanted to have sex for some reason(back then i didnt understood that men are not sex machines we can have times when i dont want to have sex) so the day after that we did it and i had a thought in my mind while doing it. That im bot enjoying it. That sent me into panic mode and i obviously went limp. It broke me. So bad that i tried to have sex the next days and NOTHING. My head got filled with dread and fear. And since then. I got sent in a severe overthinking spiral where i even questioning the love i have for and etc. im even going to therapy. Of course i fking love her. And we had sex since then but just not enough and i still get cold feet TOO many times. Usually a day together is me spending time in my head dreading sex. I Scream at myself I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX. But usually when i successfully have sex i love it and i feel confident after it again. I want nothing more than my sexual confidence back. Coz at this moment even when im horny i get shook when it comes to sex. I just run. Very rarerly i go trough with it. And ahe is extremely patient but its gonna destroy us eventually. And i just dont know what to do. Everyone i talked to just said ignore the thoughts and fears. Coz they are not real. I even stopped watching porn i quit cigarettes. Its so bad that im having a toothache wich is extremely painful and and deep down im glad coz i can use it as an excuse. I just want things to go back to normal. I love her.
tl;dr went limp and overtought to hogh heaven and act like i was attacked one time when now it comes to sex
1 comment
I think it’s super weird to “act” like you’ve been sexually assaulted, point blank period. That’s never something you should fake or “act” like.
Before even reading the full post I said “Why can’t you just tell your partner you don’t want to have sex or don’t feel like it at certain times?”
Interesting to me that you’d jump through these loopholes and try to “act” similarly to a sexual assault victim, when you are in fact not one. Instead of simply communicating your lack of interest in sex or lack of sex drive to your partner.
You are essentially implying that your girlfriend is sexually assaulting or raping you during these times. When I don’t believe thats the case.