Fathers, Do you feel like you get the easier job when it comes to parenting compared to the mother of your child?

10 comments

1. This is a very broad question and would differ depending on the responsibilities in the relationship. For me, yes I get the easier job when it comes to direct parenting, but I take on other responsibilities in the relationship. Sharing is caring.

2. Depends on if the mums a good mum or not.

   But generally yes, the kids always go to mum, dad’s the roughty toughty person to see theyre okay and tell them off when they’re naughty, moms are roughty toughty but always right 🙂

3. No, not really. We each have our roles. My wife is the one they go to if they want to share their feelings and or if they feel down. That’s not at all to say that they never come to me. They do, a lot, but their mother is just that role for them.

   They come to me when they want to goof around and feel better by forgetting their problems. This also can be quite challenging sometimes since after a full day of work, I have to somehow muster up some extra energy and be jovial. That’s also not to say that my wife has it any easier or harder, just different.

   Admittedly the only time I do feel like the cards are stacked against me is when all 3 of them are on their periods. It’s tough sometimes feeling like you’re the only sane one in a house full of girls on their periods.

4. Pretty much yeah

   My son plays his mum up all the time but is good as gold for me.

   He comes to me for the fun stuff and I love that. Obviously I tell him off when he’s done wrong but I’m a bit more lenient than his mum.

5. Sometimes, sometimes not, she single parents while I am at work, but often I come home from work and she fucks off upstairs or out and leaves me to single parent after a hard days work, with the older two at school I often have to deal with them more than she does, I run my own business so even at home I am trying to work as well so that’s really hard, but on the other hand she’ll have spent a day with the toddler, still I feel like she gets rest time that I dont. Then you get the weekends where we both take the strain, I am sure we will both argue that we have it harder than the other but it’s probably 50/50 really. School holidays are much harder on her than me

6. Fair enough question, but the answer depends on the situation at hand.

   When it comes to the physical mechanics of making the baby and feeding it, obviously men have the easier job. We don’t carry the fetus for 9 months, we don’t give birth, and we don’t breastfeed the baby after it’s born. Even if we wanted to do that stuff (and most of us don’t), we don’t have the required body parts.

   After the first 6 to 12 months, however, there isn’t a job the mother can do that the father can’t. There may be plenty of things the father won’t do, but won’t isn’t the same as can’t.

7. No. We’re both active parents, we just do different things. My wife does a lot of the work getting them ready for school in the mornings. I do more running them around to places. I’m more of a disciplinarian. She doesn’t get bored as quickly playing with them. We both have our strengths and weaknesses as parents.

8. Yes.

9. nope.

   make their lunches daily (9 out of 10, something i cooked, maybe I’ll assemble a sandwich twice a month), take them to their programs, drive my eldest 24mi to school everyday, mentor/praise and encourage them, I’m the one that has the serious talks with them, and for my eldest I’m his go to when he’s down.

   my wife was primary till our youngest was 5 as she was a SAHM till then. she always said I have to take over after that. I think she thinks between us I’ve a better embrace of my own childhood and that I’d have the advantage.

   I do agree to some extent. she’s affectionate and without any doubt loves them above all other things. I guess she doesn’t scaffold or stage as well as I do. I think about the directions or habits I’m trying to encourage in my boys and I look for the small teachable moments to push things forward. I’m also much more consistent about small things so there’s never a build up to a surprise larger issue with me. I also have much less issue with their degrees of freedom so long as I see them working the important areas well.

   I do worry though that this imbalanced model of parenting will hurt them in the future. but heck, a mom forward or mom heavy model is also not the best, which I do agree is statistically more prevalent.

10. Not at all.