Hi, Im a 22 year old man with very little-to no dating experience. Im looking for advise for a problem that im currently dealing regarding 2 women who are looming to date me.
TLDR: How do I cut off a potentially bad relationship with a women I have been talking to a lot over the past month, in favor someone I just met but have a far better chance of getting into a food relationship with?
Personal context: I have had no dsting experience in my life because I have difficulties letting people get too personal with me, and I’ve had many mental problems that have plagued me and still plaguing me. Like many others, covid made mr realize just how lonely I am, and that maybe someone that I can be personal with would help me escape from my depressions. Im someone who as difficulties letting people down and have major generalixed anxiety.
Situational context: Over the past year, I have been travelling none stop and have recently just come back for the Carribeans. When I was there I met a women who lives about 45 minutes away from me. When I met her she became infantuated with me instantly, saying how much she loves my eyes and complimenting me the whole way through. At first I had believed that she just wanted to use me for sex, as she kept on bringing it up. She is a very emotionally intelligent person who is very good looking. She is about 8 years older than I, and is far more independent and ahead in life than me. I plan in moving to a different province in September for school, making relationships hard to achieve back home.
When I left the Carribeans, thats when the problems for her and I began. When I had opened my phone upon my return, I found that she had messaged my social media account, saying how “she misses me” and continously complimenting me. I had thought her goal was just to use me during our vacation for sex (we did not have any) but what I found instead was that her perhaps wanting to get into some sort of a relationship. At first was bewildered, feeling completely thrown-off with no clue on how to deal with the scenario. She started comparing me to her old ex boyfriend which set alerts off in my hesd. I decided to tell her that I am not looking for a relationship, that we are in different chapters of our lives, and that I plan on moving. She said thay she understood, and that she wasnt looking for a relationship (which I still believe is a lie). She insisted that we stay friends but sometimes “have fun together), in which I gave a vague “okay…” answer.
After this, she continued to text me. At first I barely texted back, but over the past month we have been texting everyday and a lot. We have gotten very used to talking to eachother. About a week ago she suggested that we go to the movies, in which I responded that maybe we should. This is where my big dilemma occured. During new yesrs, my friends unexpectantly set me up with another girl who is closer to my age, more intelligent and perhaps far more my type and tempo. I believe that we hit it off very well, with my friends once again trying to get us two together by insisting we all go watch Avatar together today. I’ve even been told by her friends that she wants to date .
The problem is, I had told the previous woman that ive been talking to that I was willing to go to the movies, so yesterday she asked me to go to the movies tomorrow. I now don’t believe this is appropriate because I can’t be playing both women at the same time. I think going with the women I just met is much safer and would be a better relationship. I had told the first woman that ive been speaking to over the past month that I can’t go this week, but now she insist we go to the movies next week (afterwards she spoke about how all her friends are dating people). I want to find a way to cut off our relationship in favor for this new women that I believe to be a better suitress. I need advice on how to do this with the least amount of pain inflicted on eachother.
This situation makes me feel like a jerk who breaks his promises because Im going to the movies with a different women. I can’t sleep because I cant stop thinking about it and im very uncomfortable with everything. I need help thank you!