Friends, family, new usual situations, I always end up out of the loop or left out. But awww I’m a such a “nice guy”, yet they still continue to not get to know me and misconstrue or misunderstand me. Once things get worse, everything I do gets viewed under whatever lens they decided to label me under at the time. I start to feel lonely, no incentive, pride doesn’t want me to spend the time fixing myself for their judgement, and I end up just avoiding them. Then they label me a baby, or just don’t care and treat me like I’m weird. It’s always the same bullshit cycle I can’t get out from under.
There are those few who go out of their way and feel bad for me, but I just don’t trust them. I don’t know how to just forget and be friends with people who were dicks to me. Even if they meant it. In some way it feels dirty or like I’m pathetic if I give in, and I hate that feeling! It’s condescending.
I know I’m not perfect, but holy shit do I get the worst reputations. The reputation becomes some weird self fulfilling prophecy cause I’m so aware of it and try to avoid it.
What’s going on here, am I being naive or immature?
1 comment
If it’s “any new group” that seems to always be a problem, then there’s probably some odd vibe you’re putting off that they’re picking up on. Do you have conversations in new groups? How does that go?