Hi!
I’ve been pretty much alone for last 10 years, i have friends and close friends but nothing more than that(no family bonds or romantic relationship). When i was about 14yo i followed my friends advices, got to kissing or cuddling with few girls but without anytning serious. But with following them i felt like i have to be a person thats not “me”.
I’ve tried dating through apps, met with few girls but nothing really came out of it. I thought that i had to put some work on me, hit the gym, lean onto my hobbies(im really into singing and piano), got education and good paid work(IT), put some serious work on my character and social skills(im introverted as hell but i’m seen as extrovert thanks to my energy probably haha).
I have no problem with talking with girls, i’ve been always friends with some of them, i like how much different they view things when compared to guys.
What can i do now? I’m pretty tired of putting effort only to be ghosted or treated bad. Dont really blame them, not like theyre obliged to like me. Would be better if only i know the reason! I dont want to put so much time and energy in dating when i get zero results. I dont really care that much about looks of girls i ask out, only want them to take care of themselves. I tend to be attracted to their personalities anyway.
I dont think that im that bad looking, can send my photos, not brave enough to upload them on Reddit 😁 can show them on private chat tho!
I think that im really funny and kind person, people enjoys spending time with me, and im always keen to help other through hard time. Had to go through them myself since i had to earn my own money sińce i was 18(no financal help from family, thx god higher education is free in my country), moved out to another city and had to make completly new friends, so i really know how hard the loneliness can hit you.
Thanks for reading my long rant, please feel free to ask questions and i’ll try my best to answer them!
Tldr: how to get into romantic relationship in your 20s 😂. Its soul crushing how lonely i feel sometimes!
6 comments
It seems like you’re a caring person; do not be discouraged because luck hasn’t been in your favor yet. The best way to attract a partner is to not be looking for one. Just be open to a connection with everyone and work on being confident in your own skin.
Being comfortable with being by yourself is a skill and a muscle you have to stretch. Take yourself to a dinner and a movie. Spend the morning at a coffee shop without looking at social media. See what trying new experiences alone (or with close friends) brings into your life while you’re focusing on living that life in the present.
If who you encounter happens to be someone you’d want companionship (or whatever) with, then communicate with them from the heart, and maybe they’ll reciprocate. If not keep, meeting new people. Talking with more people without expectations keeps interactions natural and helps to practice your conversational skills.
im 26F and just got out of a 7yr relationship. idk if this helps but dating is so much about timing, luck and opportunity. i would say just focus on what you’re doing and intentionally make the effort you’re making and eventually you’ll align and connect with someone. just go into situations with no expectations and you won’t be disappointed.
are you using dating apps? what’re you looking for? a serious relationship? a hook up? a situationship?
edit: in addition i feel like i connect better with specific cultures vs others. more open. willing to form a relationship with you. open to strangers.
Just fucking enjoy! Being single it’s pretty cool, use that time to learn about yourself, self care, go wild, travel, whatever you want and when you least expect it you will find a person who is enjoying the life as well, you will get to know that person to finally end enjoying life together. Don’t pressure yourself I know 10 years seems like a lot but not you a are 24 you have a whole life in front of you
I mean I read the whole thing but that last sentence hits home 🥲😂 even as a girl its difficult, guys don’t always ghost but they often dont seem interested in much more than one thing. People always say dont look for it and it will come your way, but I don’t know 😂 I did move abroad now too so I dont even have friends.
This hasn’t worked for me but has been suggested so maybe you can try? Its basically just starting a hobby or doing a social thing (for example running club or something of sorts) and meet people that way, ofc something you enjoy is good cuz then mutual interest, but also meet people through that and then possibly meet the right person through the people you meet like that? It feels like a long tedious process 😅 but honestly I don’t know what other ways there are (outside of dating apps)
you just have to remember that absolutely everybody feels this was at some point, even if it doesn’t seem like the people around you do. hold out, and keep being yourself. but get some advice from any close girl friends, ask them to be brutally honest (if it feels too brutal – make sure it’s not just 1 person choosing to be mean)
I’m a 24 year old guy, I’m exactly you but worse lol
My problem is that I have never been in a relationship with a girl, I’m nice, I flirt, I’m decently good looking… Just there always seems to be “The other guy”. I’ll be talking to a girl, ask if she likes me and wants to go out and she’ll say “I just see you as a friend”. Then later on I’ll see her and some other dude on her Instagram or snapchat story… I just think like WHAT DO THEY HAVE THAT I DONT, SCREW YOU WORLD!
Where I’m worse off is that, I drifted away from friends after high school, tried making friends in the workplace… Didn’t work. Tried making friends in University… Isn’t working so far. I asked everyone what they where doing or if they wanted to do anything for New Years and they all reply “Nah I can’t be bothered” “I already have plans”.
I haven’t had a birthday celebrated for me since I was 14… Parents gave up on buying me a cake for my birthday after I was 16 because they saw no hope in me ever bringing any friends home.
Because I don’t have anyone to turn to, or any friend groups to meet any girls… I’m kinda just left to struggle alone.
TBH I’ve just given up on it all, especially this New Years. If me being nice and deliberately going out of my way to help others gives me nothing in return. Then I’m just going to be the biggest dick in the world this year. Like I’d rather be the biggest asshole in the world with 3 really close friends that would kill for me, than be the nicest soul on Earth with no one ever thinking about me.