Hey there, so my gf (24) and I (23) have been together 3 years and had sex for two. I love her to death, but I can’t help to feel that our sex life is lacking.
First, our sex drives are not very well aligned. She is on birth control and could care less about sex. I on the other hand would love to do it 3-4 times a week. I feel guilty asking for sex knowing that she doesn’t care about it? How can I help support her in this as she’s frustrated by her lack of drive too without pushing her too far.
Secondly, we really only have sex in missionary. In 2 years we’ve done doggy twice and that’s it. While I love the sex we have, it gets pretty stale doing our routine of fingering, me doing oral on her, and then missionary. I’ve asked her about trying other positions but she says that they don’t feel as good and she’d rather do missionary. How can I help ease her into trying new things with me without forcing her to do anything she’s uncomfortable with?
I don’t want them become a couple that has vanilla sex a few times a year. We’re both attractive and in our 20s now without kids. I feel like this is the best to get a great sex life established that we can keep building on in the future. Thank you for reading this post and any suggestions you have!
1 comment
A couple with different sex drives is super common but they can be hard to resolve without a ton of work, patience, and most importantly, *mutual commitment*.
Can the two of you have a conversation about sex that establishes how important sex actually is to both of you in the context of your relationship? In other words, you ask “do we both agree with we want sex and sexual intimacy to be a core part of our relationship?”
That’s where you need to start here.