I feel there’s so many different answers for this. Interested in if there’s a general consensus.

16 comments

  2. There’s definitely not a general consensus.

    For me? I need her to be three things: understanding, impressive, and very smart.

    And that’s about it! That’s what makes someone a potential future girlfriend for me.

  3. make yourself a checklist, and write it out. Ig mine would be:

    1. compassionate

    2. ambitious

    3. big ol’ gleaming smile

    4. outgoing

    5. healthy habits

  4. At this point I’m not sure habibi . I used to have an answer for this but I got so much hate and pain out of them that now I’m not even sure women worth it .

  5. whether or not I can hold a conversation.

    Whether or not I can relate.

    Whether or not there’s common ground.
    A good sense of humor is in there too.

    How she takes care of herself? Like, pretend it’s a job interview- is she filthy unwashed, or does she wear clean clothes, is she clean, is her hair healthy looking, that sort of thing.

  6. Well for me, most importantly they should be a kind person I like talking to. Next comes intelligence and attitude. Lastly I do want someone who is cute, though cute can mean different things for different girls. It’s the combo which matters.

  7. Being respectful to your partner and yourself, being a good and supportive energy to be around, and not being too much of a hoe.

    In terms of physical, if I look at you and say “lord have mercy, please rid me of this temptation”.

  8. Well Dating skills and Relationship skills are not the same thing.

    Dating is more about being fun, alluring, making you miss the person when they go, anticipate seeing them when you get together. Those are skills for men and women to develop.

    Relationship skills are more understanding what the other person sees and wants from you and deciding if you would be willing to give that of yourself during the relationship and knowing what you want from them and determining if they will keep showing up with what you want during the relationship as well.

  9. I had 3 criteria

    * Strong physical attraction & Sexual chemistry
    * Mutual interests / hobbies & recreational activities
    * Shared vision of what we wanted in a relationship and if it worked, same big picture

    When I found the right one, moved her in and 25 yrs. later, I’m sharing what worked for us

  10. I think if you take away all the variable and subjective factors in attractiveness, what’s left to look for in a long term girlfriend is responsibility and low maintenance.

    Most guys don’t want a woman who’s going to be emotionally or financially demanding/draining. That can be fun for a fling, but long term you just don’t want the relationship to be so much work or expense that it’s not worth it. Especially if you’re going to start mixing finances.

    An impulsive girl can very fun. But that kind of girl is going to cycle through men pretty fast. Unfortunately I don’t think women get that message until way too late. They just know that men are attracted to them and think that’s it. They’re done. They don’t understand why the guys keep leaving. All those self described “baddie” are going to get a rude awakening when they’re 30 and still single.

  11. Pretty face, not overweight, honest, faces conflict head on but with understanding and patience, open minded, curious, not expensive “needs”

  12. Everyone has different answer. For me, there are 6 must-have attributes:

    1. Kind and compassionate
    2. Open to healthy communication, always willing to be honest
    3. Confident in themselves, not super needy
    4. Trusting, not constantly jealous or nosy
    5. Trustworthy, someone you can open up to and trust not to betray you
    6. Good sense of humor

    Luckily for me, my wife has all 6 of those attributes while also being very physically attractive.

  15. Reciprocated effort is the biggest. Not that it’s the only thing, but without it there’s no moving forward

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