24F and having problems in my relationship bc the lack of sex.
We have sex 4-6 times a month, which is not enough for my partner (33M). I understand I lack sexual desire, I like cuddling, kissing, acts of kindness. I’m trying my hardest to get better but he keeps bringing it up like if a change can happen since the last week we talked about it, Which causes me to just be sad.
I’m debating on getting off my birth control, bc I was more sexually active iff it. He’s also on testosterone so his levels are high and he’s always ready to go.
Idk what to do:/ has anyone overcome this? What’s your advice?
6 comments
There’s no guarantee that going off BC is going to bring your libido back. Possible? Yes. But not guaranteed.
It would also mean having to shift birth control methods which brings up a whole other set of potential issues.
But in general, there aren’t proven ways to raise libidos. Hormonal treatments can help for some but those come with potential, serious side effects depending on dosage and longevity of use.
lol i wish our bfs could swap libidos! but ask yourself if the sex meets your desires or not. if it doesn’t, it seems obvious why you might have a low libido. other factors could be stress in ur life, my bf works to the point he’s always too tired. have you always had a low libido? if yes, it may just be ur norm x
Is he giving you as many cuddles, kisses, and acts of kindness as you are looking for? Is he meeting your needs?
I find that a lack of sex drive can be driven by a lack of attention by the other partner. If he isn’t giving you what you need, how can he expect you to give him what he needs?
If he is meeting your needs. You can also ask if there are things you can do that meet his needs that aren’t sex. Can you dress in lingerie around the house, send him nudes, randomly touch him with no obligation for sex, etc… anything to help him get off without you having to compromise what you want as well?
Relationships are two way streets so likely if he is having problems… then you likely are as well. Don’t undersell your worth.
Mate I will be honest with you nothing a few hundred mls of pre workout and a good pump can’t sort.
Have you discussed this with your doctors and had your hormones checked?
If I can be honest you sound like you might be demi sexual. Sex once or twice a week is honestly commen for a lot of couples. He needs to stop pressuring you because that will only make this worse.