I really think my(20 female) boyfriend (21 male) loves me more than I love him. I feel like such a bitch saying it. We have been dating for 3 years, he’s wonderful. I enjoy every second that I spend with him. He’s my best friend.
The truth is that I have very strong feelings for my coworker (26 male). Who also really likes me and has made it obvious. I’ve never acted on those feelings and I never would. I know I that my current boyfriend is a much more desirable partner than my coworker. Still, I feel very guilty that I could feel this way for someone other than my partner. I feel like he deserves so much better than someone that could do this. I don’t know what to do. My coworker actually moved away about 3 weeks ago and I thought that everything would be fine once he left. But I still think about him often and I feel disgusted with myself for it. Can my relationship with my boyfriend work?
4 comments
Temptation exists in most relationships eventually. It’s about the choices you make.
Here comes ‘I love you but not in love with you’ speech. Do him a favor and dump him, before you do anything silly with the coworker. You are not attracted to him and you are just prolonging his misery. Let him hate you for a while and then he will move on.
Monogamy is a social construct. Our biological part doesn’t understand that. Which is why it’s absolutely normal to develop interest in different people, other than the one you are dating and to feel guilty about it, because society told us that you can only love 1.
So no, you are not a bad person. You don’t even have to be on the same level as you bf. If you love him, that’s enough. If it wasn’t enough for either of you, you would end the relationship.
3 weeks is still fairly fresh. As long as you continue to respect and love your boyfriend and (obviously) not contact your ex coworker then you’ll be fine over time. With your boyfriend, a helpful tip I got from a couple that’s been married for over 20 years is to remember what made you love him in the first place. Remember all those happy and warm feelings that come with an early relationship. Tell him you love him, and mean it. Relationships are full of ups and downs, but it’s the choices we make that really matter in the end.