Sorry in advance for the lengthy post.
Boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. I want to preface all of this by saying our relationship is more kinky than most. We regularly talk about have a third (this is more a fantasy and not something I’m open to irl) and enjoy chatting with like minded people.
Recently my boyfriend had someone “randomly add him” on snap chat. This happens to both of us frequently and more often then not it’s a bot, but we usually add them anyway for a quick laugh. This time it was not, and I can’t help but to be very suspicious. He quickly uncovered that this bot was a normal person who just decided to “randomly add him from her recommendation page.” Since adding each other, she has quickly jumped into a very sexual conversation with no request for Live Photos, personal details, specifics, etc. She just so happens to be exactly our type, into all of the things we are, and a 40 minute drive from our home. Instantly red flags were raised in my mind, and I asked my boyfriend if her name rang a bell or if he remembered talking to this girl previously. He denied it, and we moved on.
Last night we had yet another sexual chat (mostly him) where Snapchat girl offered to come over and “play,” to which I responded that I still thought all of this was extremely suspicious/too good to be true and that I wanted him to ask her again if he really was a random add. He did, and now all of a sudden her answer has changed and she reveals herself as someone who had dated him briefly before.
(Added because this part got deleted somehow )
What do I do with this info? My boyfriend still claims he had no idea it was someone he knew, doesn’t have her number or contact on any of his apps/phone, and nothing technically happened. I can’t help but think this was premeditated to try to convince me into a threesome, but I also have no evidence and it doesn’t quite add up.
3 comments
I don’t see a way back from this. The foundation for that sort of sexual exploration is trust. It’s never going to be fun again. It’s just going to be nervous and anxious and maybe even toxic. The level of manipulation is just too severe to work through in my opinion
One have to remember that playing around with fantasies can be risky.
Not quite sure what is right or wrong – but I think you need to take a serious talk with him about what you expect in your relationship. If he indeed was interested in getting her as a potential third party in a threesome – that is not good – still as you indeed had a fantasy about that – it could be misunderstood that you might be willing to try.
Check on your communication and see if it is working or not. If not you have to give your relationship a review.
Did he block her now?