One of the common mantras is “don’t take it personally”, but I’ve never really understood this. At the end of the day, this person is rejecting YOU. Not the guy next-door. It couldn’t be anymore personal. There is something fundamentally unappealing about you which drives this person to spurn you. How can you not do anything but take it personally?
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When they mean to not take it ‘personally’ it’s got to do with allowing the rejection to affect your ego, which, on some level, we all allow it to happen, but if your belief in yourself is based on how a woman perceives you, that’s when it can become a problem, as you’ll allow a rejection from a girl to affect your self-worth and esteem.
Remembering that generally, people’s first impressions of someone aren’t the best, it’s based on speculation and their own assumptions, it’s only when they get to know you that it will change.
What they really mean is not taking it as a hit on your self-worth. Just because this person didn’t like you doesn’t mean you are unlikable.
Not taking it personally means not forming any association between your value and their feelings towards you.
Hi, I’m so sorry you are dealing with rejection, it can be very painful at times. Remember that we ALL get rejected, and the most important part is that you have to have positive self-talk when feeling that way. I have a free blog post with 7 helpful tips for you: https://enhanceyourdate.com/tips-tricks/how-to-handle-rejection/
*If you care too strongly for others’ approval, you become their prisoner.*
I actually see it as – this person is searching for their “soulmate”, as are you (I’m guessing). That’s a really hard position to fill, so when they don’t think you can fill that role, it’s not that you are unappealing, it’s that you cannot fulfill them, and therefore they also cannot fulfill you. I don’t dwell on it too much because they’ve also done me a favor, they’re not my person and I got to find out very quickly. It still hurts because we want to always be desired, but there are people that will and those are the right people.
I’ve started changing my mentality a few years ago. I used to behave and act differently with different people, because I wanted them to like me.
Now, I say : If you don’t like me, or enjoy me presence that’s YOUR problem. I don’t care for you if you don’t care for me either. Cut people that don’t appreciate you out, and be firm on your stances, ideologies and preferences.
It may weed out a lot of people from your life, but you will be left with those that trule like you for who you are, and so will the new people that you meet.
Personally, rather easily. Life goes on. It’s not personal, it’s not me nor anything I did, even if it’s something that I literally did. They didn’t like me or the action and they’re allowed that, no hard feelings.
Learn from it. Try a different approach and see if you have a better outcome. You don’t need to hound for a reason why. Take the hit, try again.
I used to take rejection very personally though I knew i look good and very beautiful but still couldn’t take it , that why I went back to my cheating ex because I couldn’t take it been ghosted 😅 that was 4 years ago
Today I don’t care if someone reject’s me because I know who i am and how special i am and every person is special and unique.
We often get rejected by people who only know so little about us and in the end it all based on their preferences. So just don’t take it personal because it is not about you unless you’re crazy😅
Yea my guy, your interpretation is completely wrong. I mean yea she rejected you, but you don’t know why she is rejecting.
You don’t know where she is in her life and what she may or may not gone through.
Maybe she just out of a relationship, maybe she just had a bad run in with a douchebag or just delt with a Karen and is in a bad mode. The list goes on and on there’s a million reasons
But only one of those reasons is that she finds you unappealing.
That’s what we mean by not taking it personally
By thinking “Welp, their loss” and then move on with my day.
Even if you do everything right there will be some people who don’t like you or find you attractive or just aren’t ready at that moment. Just have to accept this as a fact of life and keep trying.
Worst thing you can do is show the person rejecting you that you’re emotionally weak that way.
Best thing you can do is show them how unimportant their rejection is to your day, life or well being.
How you handle it can cause women to change their minds immediately or a bit down the road.
Also if it’s cold IRL approaching, initial rejection is almost reflective/ testing, not to seem easy to make you work for it… obv take a hint if there’s 0 interest but learn to handle rejection.
I found that dropping contact with the person is best for me personally. I know I tend to hold onto past experiences and hyper analyze every interaction. I don’t say anything. I just say good luck and hope you find what you want, then delete the contact information, and stop replying. I then refocus my overthinking into my work and go pick up extra hours or go enjoy a hobby of mine that involves physical activity. It’s amazing how much benefit and better thoughts come from physical activity. Because even if you are still sad or hurt or whatever emotion you feel you do have to acknowledge that you did something good for yourself and only for yourself that day by going and moving your body and being active Rather than sit inside and scroll on your phone for hours on end acompl Nothing.
I personally, started to literally not take it personally.
I thought about big picture, if they don’t want to be with me, then I saved time knowing this wasn’t the person for me.
And generally speaking, they’re not passing on your because you’re bad/wrong/unloveable/whatever, the vibe just isn’t there.
And that’s normal, people haven’t felt the vibe with me, just as I haven’t with other people.
Ya take it, sometimes you go “ouch that sucks”, and then you move onward and upward.