My brother and I used to be super close growing up, and the minute he hit ~14 he suddenly stopped speaking to me. He started to become very mean and used to do things like rip my hair out make fun of me or we’d play games and he would then just discard when he was bored and ignore me. Ever since he has never really been close to me, and this really upsets me as I don’t have a caring brother. He was bullied very badly, and my mum favors him more so he’s always gotten the royal treatment since then. She makes a lot of excuses for him and usually fights his battles. He is severely addicted to video and PC games. He rarely keeps in touch and whenever he visits home for family events he asks for my laptop and barely speaks to me. He nags me to do stuff for him, and holds very misogynistic views of women. He has a very very manipulative streak too, so whenever I’ve tried to talk to him he just deflects or gaslights and finds ways to blame me. I snap at him because of this and it just makes things worse.
I genuinely have no clue why he turned like this, he has been like it since. I don’t have any good memories of him except for times when he’d tolerate me, and then hit me or shut me out when he was fedup. This started when he became addicted to video games and the internet.
Tl;Dr brother had shut me out since I was a kid, we used to be very close. Addicted to video games, bullies badly and very misogynistic and is only nice at his benefit. I have no clue what happened to make him like this.
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I think he has a low view of himself, and manifests it externally through anger. How would you describe his relationships with friends? I ask because video game addiction is a sign of loneliness.
I don’t know whether he has tried to confront his problems. Regardless, his relationship with you is one sided and self-serving, from what I am reading. If you want to build a connection with him, doing things like checking in over text and calling to say hi are good starters. Refuse to do favors for him “I called in to see how you’re doing, maybe you should ask mom to do that for you” or something to send a signal you aren’t his assistant.