I'(25M)’m moving abroad in a month and my best friend knew that for months.
While waiting for my VISA and paperwork, there were no calls or messages from him to check on me and I felt like I could have already moved without him even noticing. He started his first job a few months ago and he says he is struggling and because of that, he is not contacting people at all ( not his girlfriend, not even his family ).
I, on the other hand, always checked on him and was there for him when he needed emotional support. When he went to Turkey and caught COVID there, I called him once every two days to check on him and so he doesn’t feel alone. When he was crushed emotionally because a girl turned him down or rejected him or friendzoned him, he always called me to ask me for help and advice and I was always there to listen and give him advice. I honestly feel like the guy is not doing what a best friend should be doing as I’m struggling and having some stress because this is a big move in my life and this is my first time leaving my country and living abroad.
I’m so disappointed in him. I knew this friend for more than 15 years, since elementary school. I realized recently that I was always the one who calls him when he is away, who suggests to go out and hang out together, when he rarely does that and in the last few years, he became kind of distant from our group of friends.
Any advice on how to handle that ?
2 comments
You’re moving. Cut ties and start new with someone else. Obviously they don’t care, don’t dwell on it or try to make them care. It’s not gonna work.
you are supportive and thoughtful for always reaching out to your friend. however, it may not mean that you friend does not care much about you by not doing the same. it seems to me that you’re both going through difficult and stressful times. your friend may care a lot about you, but he might be preoccupied with his own stresses at the moment. or perhaps he does not know that you are feeling stressed. does he usually check in with you as well?
you might want to communicate your feelings to him. let him know that you are struggling and having some stress because this is a big move in your life and this is your first time leaving my country and living abroad. let him know about these thoughts so that he can better understand your pov
>I realized recently that I was always the one who calls him when he is away, who suggests to go out and hang out together, when he rarely does that and in the last few years, he became kind of distant from our group of friends.
and then you can see what he does from there
good luck OP!