Ok, maybe I start with little background. Because her ex threatend to off himself because of her, she started going to teraphy and taking anti-deppresants. We meet each other through mutual friends in college. She od very kind and sweet person and we clicked almost immediately. But after some time i began to notice how low is her self estime. Very often hear her saying that she is ugly, stupid, weird etc. which is complete bs. She also says that she don’t know why im with her and that i could have been with someone better than her.
I keep reasureing her that she is wonderful and that i love her but with no effect whatsoever. This constant negativity starts to make my miserable too. I try to keep it all inside because i fear that if i bring this up she is going to blame herself even more but i don’t know how much longer i can grin and bear it.
2 comments
One of the hardest lessons to learn when you’re young is that you can’t fix your partner. They have to take care of themselves. If she’s going to get emotionally healthy, then she needs the willpower to fix her issues, and then she needs therapy.
No matter how much you care for her or how well intentioned you are, this isn’t something you can do for her. And if she’s in a very bad emotional place, you’re not going to have a successful relationship with her.
Just tell her. Your feelings matter too.
It’s not your job to “fix” her- you’re a boyfriend, not her therapist. If you’re unhappy you need to tell her about it so she has the chance to adjust her behavior, or you need to break up.