Me (26f) and my husband (27m) have been together 7 years, married 3. We have a 2 year old. We’ve lost a baby. We work a lot. We’re also paying off a debt from a loan we lent to a family member who screwed us over. You can imagine
where we’ve been mentally for the past 1,5 years.
Sex has slowed down significantly. I’ve always heard that sex in a relationship is super important.
I just recently started thinking about it, and I don’t want to mention it to him yet cause I don’t want him to squeeze in sex when he doesn’t feel like it, just to make me happy. I guess I just want to know if periods like these happen, and it’s ok, and I don’t need to overthink it. In that case I’m fine not having sex until it naturally happens again.
When should you be worried about how often it happens? Or do you think we’re just in a ditch in life where it’s understandable it just doesn’t happen like it used to? For now at least.
7 comments
In short yeah its normal to have periods of time sex is at a lull or even non-existant. There is rerely a couple who hasnt had points where sex was put on the back burner for one reason or another. You two seem like you have a lot on your plate, I wouldn’t over think it but I do think if it’s something that you are concerned about, have a conversation about it.
It’s hard to want to have sex when you’re stressed and overworked all the time. Usually men are more interested in sex than women. Has he always not been really into sex?
If you think sex is important in a relationship, definitely don’t have any more kids.
For some people sex drives fluctuate based on everything going on in their life and for others their sex drive is rock solid and nothing can change it. I think most people fall in the first category. How is the rest of your relationship? I would be worried if the only thing you have is sex. You can always have a sit down and touch base. If you both wish to make changes then you can discuss possible solutions.
Talk about it with him. Communicate your way through issues. Good luck.
Talk about it, sooner than later. Yes, lulls in activity happen all the time, but open and honest communication will help you both through it.
I feel that if you’re noticing it and concerns are creeping in, the time is right to discuss it with your husband. If you put it off too long you both might forget how good it is, and miss out on the bonding properties it has.
Sex slowed down for us during periods of stress but we never really stopped. When the stress let up we learned we still enjoy sex together and picked it right back up.