My boyfriend (21M) and I (22F) have already talked about still being friends with exes on social media, which is fine for the both of us.
Recently tho, I’ve been stalking this ex of his because I noticed that he always likes her posts. I’m so anxious since they only stopped talking a few months before we met, so I’m scared that there might still be some unresolved feelings between them.
Also, how am I gonna tell him that I stalked his ex?
TLDR: my bf always likes his ex’s posts and i’m anxious if it means something for him. should i be worried and how am i gonna confront him?
10 comments
Are you friends with your exes?
Yes. It means he’s still pining for her attention. That’s the currency of likes. People post shit for attention and those real humans who like these posts also make themselves known in hopes of getting some attention.
The thing that makes it hard to answer is that it’s a different reason for different guys. Some are very positive people who like pictures of everyone because they know it makes other people genuinely happy to receive those likes. Other guys only react to people that they hope to receive attention from.
So my question is how is he on social media? Does he like most everything that comes across his feed, including exes? Or does he rarely like photos, but seemingly always does for his exes? I wouldn’t be worried at all if it’s the former. But if it’s the latter, then it could possible be true that he is still seeking attention or validation from them. If that’s the case, you just have to let him know your feelings on the matter and how you would like for him to proceed. And then you need to make a decision on what’s best for you based on if he decides to follow through or not.
Listen, you need to calm the fuck down. Your boyfriend liked his ex’s posts. So what? You can’t go stalking his ex like a fucking creep and then expect him to be okay with it. You’re being irrational and you need to stop.
You have no fucking right to invade his privacy like that. If you’re worried about his feelings for his ex, then you need to have a fucking adult conversation with him about it. Don’t go sneaking around and acting like a fucking lunatic.
And for the love of god, don’t ever fucking tell him that you were stalking his ex. That’s just going to make things worse. Be honest with him and have an open and honest conversation about your feelings and concerns. But don’t fucking invade his privacy and then expect him to be okay with it.
You need to get a fucking grip and stop acting like a crazy person. This isn’t the end of the world. Just have a fucking conversation with him and move on.
It absolutely means something
You’re not stalking anyone. I hate that term on social media when it’s public and there to see for billions of people. If you’re standing outside her house and following her from place to place you are stalking.
It’s weird he’s liking them yes. Reverse that, what would it mean if you still liked your exes photos? Probably you’re not over them.
I mean I wish to say if this was such a major problem, maybe revisit the talk because you are not fine with exes being friends.
What kind of pictures are we talking about?
And is his handling of her posts notably different to his handling of posts by other friends?
I assume if she were posting thirst traps and he were leaving heart emojis you’d say that explicitly.
Is she posting stuff like “went to see [new movie]” or “checked out [bar]” and he’s giving the kind of thumbs-up “cool, hope it was fun” he habitually gives his male friends?
It’s worth recognizing that a like can be as simple as “I have seen this update from you cross my feed and I acknowledge it”, without any “unresolved feelings” being required.
Now, if he’s hitting like on literally *every* post she makes, even in case where he’s the *only* like, and he doesn’t do this with *anyone* else, sure, that’s weird and worth side-eying… but by default, hyperscrutinizing social media behaviour like this is a pointless exercise that does you no good and much harm.
my opinion. take mine as sampling statistics.
i try not to be in communication and avoid liking any of her posts.
if im in a new real relationship. i wouldnt want to kindle any feelings with the previous, nor desire for my ex to feel the same. prudence shouldnteach avoid temptation and oppurtunities of temptation.
i would feel a bit unfaithful to the current real relationship i have with.
and theirs, delikadesa. its when, even if something isnt malicious, but can appear to be, and give even a hint of suspicion, especially to my current girlfriend. i ought to avoid such circumstances, to ensure no misinterpretation happens.
Yes ! He is not over her ! He should have no contact with her, unless they have kids together.