What are your thoughts on being with someone who has no sexual or relational experiences?

38 comments

1. I’m of the age that being with someone with no experience isn’t really of any interest to me.

2. At my age I don’t think I could do it.

3. then I probably wouldn’t be with them.

4. I think it would be complicated because he doesn’t know how to love properly

5. My SO had no experience, I was his first girlfriend. It’s going well!

6. [removed]

7. At my age I wouldn’t be interested at all, could also be a red flag depending on why they have no experience

8. I’d only date someone else with little to no experience.

9. Totally fine.
   My husband didn’t have any experience when we met, while I was more experienced.

   I actually liked having someone not spoilt by societies norms on gender and sexuality, someone who was eager to learn and who didn’t mimic stuff seen in porn.

   Seeing him getting more comfortable, exploring kinks and experimenting was wonderful.

   And I would have missed out on the most wonderful human being I know, if I would have judged him by his “lack of experience”.

10. we all had no experience at one point!

11. Completely zero at all? At my current age, I wouldn’t be interested. If they have some but very little, as long as they’re a good person and eager to grow/learn together, I’d give it a shot.

12. It was fine. I can top in an emergency.

13. Maybe when I was younger that would have been okay. But now that I’m 50? No thanks.

14. I’ve never enjoyed teaching in that realm. I find it kills the mood for me and just isn’t worth it

15. Recently went on a few dates with someone like that and after a chat about relationship expectations, I decided that he’s not for me. The lack of experience didn’t bother me much but he’s waiting for marriage and even getting a kiss felt inappropriate.

16. I rather be with someone who has the drive regardless with no sexual/relational experiences.

    Don’t think just because someone has sexual or relational experiences, they have a high drive. 😂

17. I would love to be in a relation ship with them cuz i hate these stuff

18. I’m not interested. I’m way too old (45) to be handholding someone through their first relationship or sexual experience. No thank you.

19. Not interested in virgins at this age.

20. I’d rather avoid those kind of men, but I can make exceptions, I’m just 19 anyways, but I’m into older guys so It would be strange for a grown man to be a virgin.
    It’s kinda hot to be the first time of a guy though.

21. I wouldn’t do it now that I’m in the 40+ crowd. The guys that I’ve attempted to talk to in that situation have some serious mental health issues that have caused their lack of relationships and experience.

22. Gonna be a respectful pass for me lol

23. I’d rather not be with them. I prefer men with experience

24. I tried that once, and his insecurity about his lack of prior experience compared to me resulted in him lashing out and attempting to employ negging against me.

    So, so long as this hypothetical person I’m with isn’t like *that* and is willing to listen, communicate, learn, and so on, then things are fine. I’m assuming he already ticks off other boxes such as compatibility, similar values and goals, etc.

25. Never understood why it mattered much. If you dont have any experience, just be willing to learn and take advice

26. I was that person a few years ago. Thankfully my boyfriend was patient and understanding and let me kinda figure out what I liked and didn’t like. We didn’t last but it had nothing to do with my experience (or lack thereof). We all have to start somewhere, and it takes honesty, patience and communication from both parties.

27. We all started somewhere. Tho also depends on the age i guess

28. This is really age dependent. Teens or early twenties, no problem. But after that it’s much more appealing to be with someone with life and sexual experience. People, overall, are much more interesting when they’ve got that lived-in feel. A lot like jeans.

29. I realized that this was not for me at the age of 15-16, when I myself was without experience. I just understood that I wanted a person who knows what to do

30. After the age of 17, I had no interest in that. Now in my mid 40s, I’m not interested in being someone’s 2nd or 3rd sexual partner even.

31. I don’t expect much, because me neither

32. I was almost 36 first time I had sex or was in a relationship. I’m glad people were patient with me and gave me time to get comfortable and figure it out.

33. Let the training begin! 🙂

34. No, I’m 40 years old and have done my time playing teacher. I’m over it. I want someone who knows how to play.

35. Sexual experience? Totally fine. Relational experience? Also fine, with the added caveat that they know what they’re looking for and what they’re not looking for (which I feel is best/most commonly learned through previous romantic heartbreak, but can be learned in other ways.)

    (I’m not single, but if I was I would primarily look for a partner who has past romantic relationship experience.)

36. My bf is in his first relationship now, and I’ve had to teach him a few things, but so far he’s doing great!

37. I have been in a relationship with someone who had no experience, and have a dear friend who just started her own dating journey in her late 30s. I would say that communication is even more important in these relationships. You both need to be free to fully express your thoughts and feelings because your partner may well feel out of their depth and uncomfortable. Best wishes!

38. It can be cute at times, as long as they at least use their brain