I’m switching states in a few weeks for a new job I’m about to start. I met a girl a month and a half ago and we started talking. I let her know I was switching states soon but I still flirted and basically went on a bunch of dates with her.
So one of these nights in my room she basically starts trying to make a move on me. I go along with it but before we start anything serious she says she feels comfortable doing this because she feels like I’m taking her seriously for a potential relationship. I stop her and let her know that I’m not looking for anything long term especially since I was moving and didn’t want to start long distance with someone I only met a month ago. She got super upset but nothing happened that night anyways.
After this I thought it might be best to cut it off because she was getting attached.
After a few days though she started calling and talking to me more aggressively and trying to stay in my life. She asked me if I did see a relationship sometime in the future and I said “yeah possibly” and she held on to that super strongly and calls and texts me as much as she can.
So at this point I don’t know whether to completely forcefully cut it off. I don’t mind talking to her because she is a nice genuine person and would make a good friend, but I feel like she’s only going to get more hurt in this situation. I communicated this to her but she basically said “I’m an adult and I understand what I’m getting into, I just don’t want to lose you as a friend and potential partner in future”. But at the same time, I wonder if she really believes that or is just saying that because she’s attached. A lot of our conversations recently have been along the lines of “what would you do about this if we were together”. And periods when I’m not available or can’t talk to her for maybe days at a time, she gets extremely upset. I’m not sure what to do
TL;DR: I started talking to this girl casually but she got very attached and wants something serious. I communicated my feelings to her and decided we should stay just friends but she’s insistent on talking to me and calling me as much as possible. It doesn’t bother me as much, but I feel like she’s only going to get more hurt in this situation and maybe I should cut it off
4 comments
I hate it, but I think you’re going to have to break it off with her. She’s not thinking things through clearly, and has rose colored hopeful glasses
In my opinion, it’s more humane to have the “We’re on two different paths” talk and then let her go than to say nothing and allow her to become more and more attached to this false idea of you.
You’re “switching” states?
What, are people who live in Georgia going to wake up tomorrow to find that it’s been attached to Canada, and that Maine is next to Florida?
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To me the situation was fine until you said she gets super upset if there is a certain amount of time until you respond to her numerous inquiries… as if she was entitled to faster answers. I think it’s very immature of her and it’s a red flag to me.