(20f)(18m) when do you let go?

I (20f) have been in a relationship with my partner (18m) for 2 years at the end of this month. I love him very much, but I feel like lately I’ve been more unhappy than not. I’m worried that we’re incompatible in ways that are necessary, but he seems sure we can get past it… im questioning that.
Hes always been very pessimistic, I used to try to cheer him up, now it just brings me down with him. We used to talk a lot and now it’s like it’s hard for me to answer, I end up not opening texts for a while just because I feel like I don’t have the energy to talk so much… he wants to talk sooo much and he gets upset when we don’t. I started working recently and he’s been upset that we haven’t spent as much time together and I have less time to talk… I honestly am happy with talking to him less, not because it’s him… but because I want to be alone in general. Currently with my mental health I feel like it’s hard for me to keep up with his needs, I keep centering myself and it makes me feel so selfish, but I just can’t give him what he wants. Constant communication, always telling him where I’m going and what I’m doing, I feel like I can’t have a life outside of him without him feeling resentful and that’s making ME resentful. It feels like he can never be happy that I’m happy or enjoying myself. The thing that feels so difficult is that I love him so much and I know he loves me, he loves me more than anyone I’ve been with in the past, he makes me feel loved, but he also makes me feel controlled and restricted in ways I feel like I can’t handle, and because he can’t “read my mind”, it’s like unless I really spell it out he has no emotional awareness and can never tell how what he says or does affects me till its in his face…
Sexually, it feels like he only does what I want to appease me, he only does it half the time, usually half ass, just get it over with and then when I bring it up he acts like I always get what I want, and it’s like I get it you gave me head but I want there to be more to it, preferably unrushed, not after literally everything else if we end up having time :/ it seems like sometimes he’ll say we will later and he’ll have me do things for him then he holds it off until something happens that prevents it from happening at all(his parents coming home or something), and it’s very frustrating.
Another issue is that we’re both into BDSM but we’re both subs and neither of us are ok with having a 3rd, even if they’re only a dom. He wants me to dom him but I feel incapable/very turned off doing that, and I want the same from him but he has a hard time doing it. It’s like we’re always fighting for who will be allowed to be happy this time. I know relationships are all about compromise but it’s hard to be into it when I know he isnt truly and vise versa.
I want a solution that isnt leaving 😂 but I feel like I’ve tried everything and I’m so tired, ive been contemplating leaving for a few months but I adore him so much 😭 and our time together in person is almost always great, it feels like if we could just move in together it’d be fine because he wouldn’t feel the need to keep track of me so hard (he’s got pretty bad anxiety), and I’d spend more time w him face to face… but that isn’t an option for us currently. It’s hard to find a balance of giving myself what I need (space, hobbies, etc), and what he needs (more attention).
He can be so loving and he’s the best friend I’ve ever had, I don’t want to lose him 🙁

Tldr; I love my partner very much but sometimes he can be rather controlling and im having a hard time keeping up, and quite frankly I don’t want to either. I don’t want to leave him, but I dont know how much longer I can do this… I’d give anything to come out the other side of this rough patch ok, with him with me… any advice?