So initially my fiance asked me to pay for her wedding dress, since everything is so costly. I agreed with paying 1000 euro’s. Later she went to a high quality wedding store and found the perfect wedding dress and asked me whether it was fine to pay for 2000’s euro’s. I said fine at first, but today she showed me the photo’s and asked me for permission. I said everything looks great on her but didn’t understand what she was asking, so I insisted she mentioned directly what she thought.
She then again asked me whether 2000 euro’s was fine for me to pay. I said, sure, but you can also pay for it — it’s quite a high price, but if you want it, go for it. She was a bit disappointed and said I don’t have to pay for anything, she already arranged something else. When I insisted on hearing her thoughts and feelings, she said that I mentioned that ‘midclass people don’t go to that wedding store’. I corrected her and mentioned that I said ‘celebrities and royal people get their wedding dresses there and only a few middle class people’. I was absolutely not hinting at her.
In the end she now looks at outlet stores, which seems to have prices around 500-1000 euro’s where it also looks quite decent. At one hand I feel guilty for my response, on the other hand it feels like she was thinking something like ‘well, a wedding dress is a waste of money since I only wear it one time, so he might better pay for it and I’ll use having a tight budget as an excuse’.
What are your thoughts on this? Was I behaving like an complete (@)34@#? Should I pay for the dress or is this something she should carry?
10 comments
Absolutely not. The dress is typically the responsibility of the bride/her family. She’s coming across as a wee bit entitled/spoiled and I’d view it as a red flag, tbh.
Talk to her about it but from the outside, things don’t look that bad. She compromised to your position after all.
I say no, but also I don’t understand spending more than $800 (not sure what the conversion is) on a wedding dress. However, if she asked, you said yes to a price, that’s the amount she can expect to have funded.
You offered to pay for it so yes you should pay for it but only if the dress is within the price range you specified. She upped the ante and then got mad at you when you didn’t want to pay that much. It’s easy to get greedy when someone else is footing the bill. Not your fault but I would pay attention to how she acts over this, it could be a sign of things to come.
I’d say just give her the 1000 and she can figure the rest out. But you are getting married so finances will be combined right. Are yall in agreement for budgeting and financial responsibility and equality?
2000€ is pretty low to a average price for a wedding dress in Western Europe. Which country do you live in? Why does she want you to pay for it and why did she show you? Her communication seems so indirect I am confused by it.
2K euros for a dress, how much did she expect you to shell out for the engagement ring?
Just pay for it… it’s only money..
I don’t think it’s your responsibility at all to pay for the dress. You got her the ring. She should figure the dress out herself.
Do you think she was only shopping at the expensive place because she was spending your money?
I agree with the other person – give her the 1000 and if she wants a more expensive dress she can pay for it.