Hello. It’s kinda embarrassing to admit it but I almost had sex with my boss after working one year in his company. To be honest I always had a crush on him. He is good looking, very kind, charismatic and not your typical boss. He is very chill and funny too. We are a small company. Really we are just 10 people here and most of us are working part time. It’s a customer service and I who struggles with social anxiety was very overwhelmed but I wanted to challenge myself. I told my boss right at the start and he was very supportive.
I would say this work gave me development I never thought I could, even my therapist was very surprised by that. And it was all thanks to my boss. Like I’ve said he is always kind to all of his employees sometimes he can be a little bit of an asshole in his boss role but i think all bosses are kind of assholes. Well I never thought he was into me at all. He treats everyone the same. So I never figured it out that he actually likes me that way.
Before the holidays we were celebrating our 4th years anniversary. We were at a bar and we both drank maybe one or two too much. But even before that there was this tension between us. Like we wanting each other. And at the end we were the only ones that were left. We talked about everything and also some deep things about us and our struggles. After that he brang me home and I don’t really know how it happened but he stayed the night at my flat. We talked again for an hour before the tension was so high that he asked me if he could kiss me. And then it turned into a wild Make out session. Also we were dry humping and even tho I’m a virgin and thought I was assexual for all of my life I took the lead and hearing him enjoying it turned me out pretty badly. I really thought I would loose my virginity here but after a while he just stopped me and confessed to me he likes me more then he should as a boss and that he doesn’t want to have sex with me yet. He wants us both to not be drunk. He also said that yes he wants me right now but he didn’t want us to regret it and that this moment should be special.
At the next morning we talked it a little bit of the situation and he apologized so much about what happened. He couldn’t really remember much so he was afraid he took adventage of me and that this is inappropriated for a boss to do. He was so sorry. And I told him that I was the one wanting to do it and it was very akward. Now I don’t know what we are and how things will continue. I have to go to work tomorrow again and idk what to do.
I just know I fell for him even harder and all but I still don’t know how he feels about me and what I should do now. He is precious to me and I don’t want things to be akward and weird between us. What should I do?
Tldr: I almost slept with my boss and it was great I always had a crush on him. Drunk he confessed to me he likes me more then he should but he don’t want to have drunk sex. Now I don’t know what we are exactly and what do to
2 comments
Sigh. Look, I absolutely get that you find him attractive, but to use the crude but effective statement- Don’t shit where you eat!! Do not sleep with your boss. It literally will make you life harder. There’s nothing more awkward, embarrassing & emotionally hard then it goes badly- yes even if it feels good for a while- then to have all your co workers either hate you or even worse, pity you & more importantly gossip about you( they’re capable of doing this all at same time). Also this man can literally fire you & – even if he doesn’t do that, the whole situation will make your work situation incredibly tough. The power dynamic isn’t in your favour at all.
If you were to ever sleep with him, it needs to be when you’ve got a different job with another company.
Tell him it’s awkward and ask him to help you get a new job. He will probably be very happy to give you whatever recommendation you need. I’m sure he is terrified about the potential ramifications of this. Find a better and higher paying job. Try to make the best of this messy situation. But I don’t recommend staying.