I find it so diffucult cuz i know im gonna hurt her feelings but i don’t wanna lead her on. She’s cool and all but I just don’t feel it. She keeps saying she enjoyed hanging out but we saw eachother one time and I didn’t even talk that much cuz it was with my and her friends . Now she’s liking random comments under my instagram pics and she keeps flirting( I don’t flirt back btw but I don’t think she gets it) .I’ve known her for like 2 weeks and we haven’t talked that much so I’m so confused why she’s already moving so fast and acting like this. She’s also a close friend of my best friends gf and I know it’s gonna get awkward.
Normally i avoid my problems and don’t deal with em but rn I feel like that’s not an option. (I’m 21 btw)

17 comments

  2. Be honest, polite, but absolutely do not lead her on or give her hope. Dont say things like “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now” because what that may sound like is “Give me time and maybe in the future we can be together”.

    Rejection always stings, it’s gonna hurt her feelings. Women in general are more affected, because they’re not accustomed to rejection, but you must be sincere about it and let her know exactly how you feel.

  3. Could you talk to your friends gf for advice? She knows this girl better than most people.

  4. No matter what you say, it’s going to hurt her. Just be direct, but not aggressive

  6. In highschool I would just start avoiding them, which was awful since it really puts strain on her self esteem to be treated that way. You’ve really got to make the distinction that you’re not rejecting HER, you’re rejecting a relationship between the two of you. Focus on that and you can probably diffuse it and maintain a friendship.

  8. Oof that’s rough. Maybe not good advice, but I would tell your best friends GF about it and ask her what you should do. Don’t worry, after you do that you probably won’t hear from the girl again. His gf will tell her for you. But now, it probably won’t be awkward with the GF.

  10. Look at her like Dr. EVIL and just say “How about no!” In the most nasal voice you can come up with

  12. Hey friend. I know my advice probably won’t be the best because i am younger than you are but i’ve been raised well from my grandfather.

    He always used to say that being a gentleman is key, even in defeat or in being victorious. Rejecting people sucks, while being rejected AND rejecting someone, it doesn’t change at all. It stings every person in that interaction- Of course, if you’re a (excuse my language) a dick, you won’t mind. It’s gonna sting if not. You can reject someone as a friend, business seller etc.

    Let’s take the Romantic rejection with 2 paths.

    A: You don’t like the person that is asking you out.

    B: You’re in a relationship and u dont wanna f it up.

    DO NOT let anybody on, imagine theyre doing this to you. just getting your hopes up and you get happy and then when you get rejected you’re crushed. Think of the other person as yourself. Same thing happens to the people YOU lead on. Be honest, it makes it easier

    AVOIDANCE is NOT the same thing as REJECTING respectfully. Ignoring texts isn’t good. Man up, i believe in you. It’s a hard conversation yes, but it’s better than being a dick.

    Lead with a compliment;

    You’re very funny, Maria. You’re an amazing lady. The compliment should be genuine. Don’t be like “YOURE SO FUCKING PRETTY ANY GUY WOULD WANT YOU”, t would be weird as in.. youre in one of thsoe guys.

    Act flattered by the compliment (compliment of asking you out)

    “I’m so flattered you wanna go out”

    Then. Rejection.

    “I’m so flattered you wanna go out, but..”

    A.) I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way like you do.

    I’m not interested in you that way.

    B.) I’m sorry but I’m in a relationship

    TAKE RESPONSIBILITY BY SAYING “I ….”.

    Sometimes you have to lie, sometimes if you say the truth “sorry Maria you’re ugly” aint gonna cut it. They’ll be hurt.

    Let’s say you’re in a club and theyre dancing on you;

    I’m in a relationship.

    If you follow the steps it can be something like this

    (Asked to dance for example)

    Hey, ______ you’re an amazing dancer/lady and i appreciate the offer/ compliment of you wanting to dance with me but I’m in a relationship.

    SUMMARY:

    Don’t lead anybody on

    Appreciate the offer

    Compliment the person GENUIENLY. Examples are in the text.

    Don’t beat around the bush, take the responsibility.

    DONT AVOID THE PERSON.

  13. Just be direct with her and say something along the lines of “You’re not looking for any relationships and that you’re not gonna commit to any at this time.” And then follow through with your actions by not giving her the time of day or liking any comments from her.

  15. When she comes to talk to say “move bitch, get out the way, get out the way bitch, get out the way.’

  17. Assuming she likes you, there’s really no way to not hurt someone to a degree with a rejection. Don’t dance around the subject. Be blunt but respectful and polite. Don’t insult her but tell her that you are not interested in her that way.

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